As women, we hear so much talk on how to gain self- esteem and improve our self-image. We are told to change the way we think about ourselves. This is only the first step to gaining self-esteem and feeling good. In order to truly gain self-esteem and feel complete as a woman, we must override society’s programming of how we ‘should be’ and become who we truly are. This translates into becoming a Wild Woman! Now, this does not mean we are going to dance on the table tops in bars! It means that we are going to make a journey from our head to our heart and tap into our highest truths and passions. The process of growing from who and what you are, to who and what you want to become, involves work, time and FUN. In addition to changing your self-thoughts, I have included some tips on how to speed up this magnificent process of change.

 
1. Learn to Relax. It is only when we are relaxed that we can tap into that wealth of knowledge and understanding in our subconscious mind. Ever notice that? How inspired and open your thoughts are after a vacation, or a few days on the beach! It doesn’t always have to be a vacation, though, as you can achieve the same psychological state by simply training yourself to relax for a few minutes. It’s amazing the ideas that you will come up with and most of them will be positive! Why? Because they are originating from a place of calmness. Stressed people cannot think positive thoughts about themselves and really mean them! It just doesn’t work that way.

 
2. Develop Good Life Habits.

The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken. -Samuel Johnson.

It is easy to develop good life habits, once you start to reap the rewards. By good life habits, I mean doing things that foster adequate rest, exercise, nutrition, and an overall sense of wellness. It is unlikely that you will be thinking positive thoughts about yourself if you are tired and have not exercised in months. Keep a journal and record some of your self-thoughts after a night of depleted rest and watch how you sabotage yourself.

 
3. Become Creative. If you think it, you can do it. If you can visualize it, you can become it. Know that it is okay to be imaginative. It doesn’t mean that you ‘are not in the real world’. It does mean, however, that you are not limited by the status quo! By becoming creative you are able to establish your life’s purpose in it’s fullest form. You are able to develop a map for your life and live it out in such a way that you understand and feel your purpose for being on this earth. One way to become creative is by reading different and stimulating material. Get involved with different types of people who offer ideas that are foreign to you. You might even want to try living in a different country or culture for awhile. You will see more resources and possibilities in every daily experience if your practice meditation. Learn to visualize. It’s only once your thoughts about yourself are in your vision, that they will be realized!

 
4. Expect happiness! Sounds easy doesn’t it? But you must focus on the good in order to do this. Remember, that what you focus on, expands. If you listen to and read a lot of news, you are focusing on the bad, while undermining the expectancy of happiness. If you go to sleep at night while listening to the news, or anything negative, you doubly magnetize yourself toward the negative. Did you know that you really do deserve to be happy? Little children know that until they are socialized otherwise.

 
5. Learn To Be Yourself and Follow Your Passion. This is the only way that you can discover who you really are. It is important that you stay as close as possible to your true self. When we follow our passion, our energies are magnetized and we draw to us that which we need to fulfill our life’s purpose. When we do not, we feel depressed, anxious, and negative. Take the risk and live out your dreams, regardless of what you have been told about yourself!

 
6. Don’t Live In The Past! Learn from your mistakes or your experiences. Although this is easier said than done, one way to speed up the process is by asking yourself, Okay, how can I enhance my life from that experience because I know it was put in my life’s path for a reason. Learn to realize that painful life lessons can really be blessings in disguise. I have noticed that the most personally developed and evolved human beings are those that have had many life trials and triumphs. This is not to say that you shouldn’t allow yourself to go through the necessary steps of grieving. But staying stuck in the anger and hurt stage is not good for the development of your ‘self’ because it keeps you in a victim mindset and prevents you from bringing all of your true strengths to the present.

 
7. Commit To A Lifetime of Growth. We grow through adversity and challenge. Commit to grow in consciousness. What does this actually mean? In short, it means stay in truth. The more you remain in a realm of truth, the consciousness will take care of itself. The higher your level of consciousness, the more you are likely to attain your life’s purpose and live out your life’s dreams and goals. Imagine what this does for your self-esteem and feelings of wellness!

 
Dr. Wendy Nickerson, Psy.D., Licensed Psychologist, Personal Life Coach, and Founder of Atlantic Coaching Enterprises, located in Florida and Nova Scotia, can be reached at WizeWendy@aol.com or by phone at 902-673-3049. Watch for her new book Wild Women Never Get the Blues! How to tap into your intution to create your best life to be in bookstores in the Fall, 2004. Visit her webpage at www.drwendy.tv

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