What are you tolerating in your life?

 
All of us have some things we are tolerating. They can range from putting up with a squeaky door, to putting up with too much clutter. Research shows that most people can list at least 100 tolerations in their lives right now, and each and every one them is a major energy drainer!

 
In order to rid yourself of energy-draining tolerations, you need to do deal with them. You can do it (now), date it (to do it at a future date), delegate it (for someone else to do it) or dump it (to get rid of it once and for all). You will be amazed at the increase of energy you will feel when you begin to eliminate tolerations in your life.

 
Make a list right now of at least five tolerations you are putting up with and make a commitment to yourself to have them handled by this time next week. I promise you that you will feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders. You will feel lighter, more energized and will have gained momentum to focus on areas of your life that bring you fulfillment.

 

 
What problems do you have?

 
Just like tolerations, we all have problems of some kind. Perhaps money is tight and you are having difficulty making ends meet or perhaps you are having difficulty communicating effectively with a coworker. Problems are annoying and can even become agonizing.

 
Learning to handle problems in a proactive and positive way is essential if you want to regain your energy. Do the same problems keep showing up in your life? If so, is there some pattern in your behavior that may be at its source? If money is tight for example, stop spending. If you have dug yourself a hole, then stop digging.

 
Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this situation?" You may surprised at what your wise self within may tell you. Perhaps you just need to take the time to listen.

 
Become aware, mindful and conscious of how you are managing your life and then do something about it. According to Thomas Leonard, one of the founding fathers of coaching, these are some common problems that most people have.

  1. Looking for happiness from external sources.
  2.  
    Some people believe that if they do enough, have enough, or become enough, they will be happy. Unfortunately there is never 'quite enough' to fulfill what they are looking for and each morning when they wake up not feeling happy, a huge piece of their energy drains away. The solution is to look for happiness from within and to take the time to discover what really fulfills you.

     

  3. Not getting their essential needs met.
  4.  
    Some people have difficulty managing their lives and it becomes just too demanding and complex to handle. The solution here is to ask for the emotional and structural support needed in order to regain control.

     

  5. Being a 'Lone Ranger'.
  6.  
    Some people are strong individualists and believe that they can do anything without asking for help. As our world changes though, and life becomes more complex, appropriate support structures are essential. The solution here is simple. Ask for help.

     

  7. Coping inadequately with change.
  8.  
    Some people have difficulty dealing with the ever-exploding changes occurring in today's world. It is a fact that the world is changing faster than society can digest it. The solution is to do your best. Keep up with technology, educate yourself and ask for support.

Do you feel stressed?

 
We all feel certain levels of stress. The question is how much stress do you have in your life? Sometimes a little bit of stress can give us that 'edge' that we think we need. I know that many performers say that if they didn't feel some stress they would not be as good on stage. If the answer is "a lot" of stress, then you definitely need to decrease it before your body rebels with more than just a lack of energy.

 
It is important to note that all types of things, be it positive or negative, can cause stress in our lives. The move to a new house you love, getting married or landing a great new job can cause stress in the same way that moving to a less desirable house, getting divorced or losing your job can. The key is to learn how to deal with stress in an effective way before it causes worse problems than just feeling tired and physically run down.

 
You can decrease your levels of stress by becoming aware of what is causing the stress and then dealing with it proactively. For example, perhaps your boss at work keeps giving you work that you know you cannot get finished. You need to clearly communicate to your boss that this current workload is unacceptable and that he or she will have to delegate the extra work to someone else.

 
Make sure that you are adequately caring for yourself, and then increase that level in order to really nurture yourself. Try something new? Activities such as meditation, massage, Reiki, and aerobic exercise can be great stress reducers.

 
A simple change of perspective can also work wonders. Perhaps, what is making you feel stressed is negative thinking. Cognitive exercises such as 'thought stopping' can be very useful at reducing your levels of stress. Whenever a negative thought comes to mind say, "Stop!" and then reframe the thought into something positive.

 
For example, you may think to yourself, "Why are grocery lines so long! I hate having to wait!" When you notice you have done this say, "Stop! Waiting in this line will give me the opportunity to catch my breath before I need to go do my next errand." This change of perspective will undoubtedly increase your energy rather than deplete it.

 
As human beings it is a fact that we are going to deal with tolerations, problems and stressors.

 
Obviously, the key to an increased sense of "well-being" is to proactively respond to these things in a positive way. If you can't seem to keep up with the housework, then hire a cleaner. If your life feels overwhelming, then ask for the help and support you need to regain control. If you are feeling stress, then take care of yourself and do whatever it takes to reduce it. Remember, you are the one in charge of your life. It is your responsibility to make it fantastic and have the required energy to truly live it to the fullest!

 
Cheri Baumann, Life Strategist, Personal Development Coach & trainer with My Private Coach, Personus Coaching & Training, and the University of British Columbia. You can get more information about Cheri at http://www.MyPrivateCoach.com/cbaumann and contact her for a complimentary coaching session at either cheri@myprivatecoach.com or cbaumann@telus.net.

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