What would happen if you lived your life by design rather than by default?
What would happen if you took the time to choose what you wanted in life rather than letting life choose it for you?
I am sure that many of you know people who appear to be living their lives on 'autopilot'. They get up in the morning, get ready to work, drive to work using the same route, do their daily work tasks, drive home from work using the same route as before, eat dinner, perhaps play with the kids, watch TV and then go to bed. The next morning it starts all over again. Before you know it, weeks have gone by, months and then even years.
Sometimes a 'life crisis' happens, a severe accident, a life-threatening illness, the death of a loved one, or perhaps just mid-life, and these people who have been on 'autopilot' for so many years suddenly appear to 'wake-up' and take a good look at the lives they have been living. They may realize that they have been 'human doings' rather than 'human beings,' living their lives for everyone and everything other than themselves.
What is ironic about this situation is that, whether we like it or not, we are the author's of our own lives. Everything that we have right now is the RESULT of the choices and decisions we have made along the way, even if for the most part they were made on 'autopilot' or based according to some sort of 'should,' 'could,' or 'ought to'. We get hooked into these external expectations and the idea of our own personal and authentic life goes down the tubes. A life crisis does not have to be the precipitating factor to making positive change in your life though. Take a good hard look at you life right now and ask yourself:
"If I am not the one in the driver’s seat, then who or what is?"
Living your life in the driver's seat means that you know what you want and what is most important to you. You live a balanced and happy life filled with purpose and meaning. You have taken the time to create an authentic, vibrant and happy life, because if you don't take the time to choose what you want, life will choose it for you.
The way to get back into the driver's seat of your life is to create a life strategy.
If you want to get the most out of your money you create a financial strategy. The same is true for your life. If you want to get the most out of your life you need to create a life strategy.
A sound life strategy can be described as a house. The bottom foundation of your house is your personal foundation. The stronger it is, the less likely your house/life will crumble under stress. The four cornerstones of your house/life are:
- clarity of what your life is like now
- clarity of what you want your life to be
- cleaning up unfinished business from you past
- clarity of the beliefs and attitudes that may or may not be serving you
The roof of your house is made up of the strategies that you set in place to build the life your desire.
For example, let's say that I do not have a life partner and I want one.
The first thing I do is look at how strong my personal foundation is. Have I set high standards, requirements and boundaries in my life? Have I taken the time to find out what is most important to me and discover what needs are driving me? Do I have reserves in every area of my life and do I look after myself well?
Once my personal foundation is strong then I begin to build the cornerstones of my house/life.
- I take the time to describe what my life is like without a life partner – exactly as it is right now.
- I create a long term vision with absolute explicit detail about the kind of life partner I would like to have and how my life would be different with him or her in it.
- I look at past relationships that may be in some way getting in the way of attracting a life partner now and deal with it.
- I look at my beliefs and attitudes that may or may not be serving me in my quest of having a life partner. I reframe the beliefs and attitudes that are not serving me into ways that they will.
Now, I am ready to start building a strategy/the roof for my house. Because of the work I have already done I am now actually ready to receive a life partner and have the relationship work. My strategy is going to be made up of specific goals, all based on my intention of having a life partner. They may include online dating, asking friends to introduce me to people, joining a single's club, or getting a coach. There are infinite ways of going about developing a strategy.
This approach can be used for every area of your life. Once your personal foundation has been built, you can build many rooms in your house, each with different cornerstones, for all of the other areas of your life. Without you in the driver's seat of your life, however, you will never have the life of your dreams. Take back control and begin LIVING your life for you! Begin creating a Life Strategy NOW!
Remember, “If you can DREAM it, you can DO it.” – Walt Disney
©Cheri Baumann, Life Strategist, Personal Development Coach & trainer with My Private Coach, Personus Coaching & Training, and the University of British Columbia. Her mission is to help people create vibrant, happy and authentic lives. Her coaching style is quiet, with an intuitive strength that promotes self-discovery and positive change in an accepting and playful atmosphere.
You can get more information about Cheri at www.MyPrivateCoach.com/cbaumann and contact her for a complimentary coaching session at either cheri@myprivatecoach.com or cbaumann@telus.net .
