I had lunch with a dear friend the other day. While
I enjoyed the company and the food, I left feeling a
little depressed.
When I thought about it, I realized my friend was
brilliant at dismissing every book, concept, guru,
self-help method, or healing approach he had read or
heard about.
He was not directly negative or purposely critical.
He sincerely wanted something that would work in his
life. But he was unconsciously dismissing everything
that came his way.
At one point I told him about a guru I had studied
over two decades ago. I told him that people said, “My
guru was obviously enlightened. He radiated it.”
My friend cut in saying, “I’m sure there are people
who saw that guru and didn’t think he was any smarter
than a paper bag.”
Well, my friend is right.
But my friend is also unhappy.
I think there’s a lesson here. When we dismiss
people and ideas because the entire world doesn’t agree
with them, we get to be right. But we also get to stay
empty inside. By dismissing what could work, we dismiss
our own growth. We dismiss what’s possible.
It doesn’t matter if the book you read and love is
loved by anyone else. It doesn’t matter if the teacher
you admire is admired by anyone else. It doesn’t matter
if the healing method that worked for you doesn’t work
for everyone else.
What matters is you. Your happiness. Your health.
Your healing. Your well-being.
Truth is, no method works for everyone. No teacher
is right for everyone. No book is going to inspire
everyone.
It all comes from within. You are the first and
final authority on your life.
Rather than dismissing what is possible so you can
be right, what can you accept so you can grow?
Dismissing is often a way to deflect the messages.
It’s a self-defense mechanism. If you dismiss the
book, idea, or method offered to you, you get to be
right — and stay right where you’re at.
Every successful person I know has accepted new
tools into their lives over the years, spent thousands
of dollars on personal growth and self-study, and
never regretted any of it.
The key is not dismissing, but digesting.
For example,
Nerissa and I had dinner with friends
recently. One friend was complaining about her job.
>From her perspective, there was no way out of the
misery she felt at her place of work. Bad boss.
Bad hours. Bad pay. You name it, it was bad.
Later we were joined by other friends. As “chance”
would have it, one of the new friends had connections
where our complaining friend worked. He gave
our unhappy friend a name, and said he could help her
resolve her issues. He went on to say that this
connection was a supervisor, head of many
departments, and could probably resolve
whatever was wrong.
I was stunned. So was Nerissa. We were seeing
magic happen right before our eyes.
But what did our unhappy friend do with her new
lead and new hope?
She dismissed it.
She didn’t write down the name or the number, or
show any signs that something wonderful had just
occurred.
Do you see how this works?
Sometimes we can self-sabotage the things we
say we want. We simply dismiss the good.
People often write me and ask what one single
product can they get that will transform their lives.
When I tell them I so loved Dr. Robert Anthony’s
material that I financed, recorded and now market
his “Beyond Positive Thinking” CD set, they are sold.
They go to http://www.BeyondPositiveThinking.com
and buy it.
Yet some people complain, “It cost $99.” Ah,
of course it cost money. Are you going to pay it
and get what you want or are you going to dismiss
the greatest self-help material of all time? Do you
want the good you say you seek or not?
Let me end this with another example:
Yesterday I received a letter in the mail about a
new audioprogram about dissolving illusions. I read the
piece but dismissed it. I figured it was simply stuff I
had already heard before and probably even recorded
elsewhere myself.
Then today I got another mailing, this time from a
different source, but selling the exact same
audioprogram. I read it over closely. I thought, “This
is interesting, but I bet there’s little new in it.” I
then placed the mailing aside.
An hour or so later, as I was reviewing this very
article you’re reading right now, I suddenly realized
that I was doing the very thing I am warning you not to
do: I was dismissing an opportunity to learn.
I dug out the mailing, filled out the order form,
and dropped it in the mail. The audios are on the way.
The point is not that you buy everything that comes
your way, but that you don’t dismiss everything that
comes your way. Sometimes a dismissal is a mask. It’s
your self-sabotage at work, keeping you where you’re
at. To grow, you must allow.
Again, you are the final authority on your life.
Tune in to yourself and do what’s right for you. And as
you do this, be alert to those times when you may be
dismissing the next gift to come your way.
Let your guard down, and let life in.
Dr. Joe Vitale is the world’s first Hypnotic Marketer.
He is President of Hypnotic Marketing, Inc., and
author of way too many books to list here, including
the #1 best-selling book Spiritual Marketing: A Proven 5-Step Formula for Easily Creating Wealth from the Inside Out, the
best-selling e-book Hypnotic Writing and the
best-selling Nightingale-Conant audioprogram, “The
Power of Outrageous Marketing.” His latest books
are the best-selling The Greatest Money-Making Secret in History! and Adventures Within: Confessions of an Inner World Journalist. He’s being called “The Buddha of the Internet.” His main
website is at http://www.MrFire.com
