What does it take to build and maintain a success business? Does it take talent? A Business Degree? The Perfect Business
Plan? Or, Relentless Hard Work?
I’ve been thinking a lot about this subject lately – especially since I spend so much of my workday coaching highly successful
entrepreneurs. I get a front row seat into what makes people successful and what holds them back. It has been enlightening!
You know what I’ve noticed? I’ve discovered a great similarity between building a successful business and being in love. Yes, you
read that right. I said, being in love. So, in this article I’m going to take you on a journey of LOVE.
I want to explore the many parallels there are in building a business and being in love.
We’re going to take a close look at what causes one to be in love, what love really is – and what it’s not – and how to grow
and maintain it. I believe at the end of this article, after taking this journey of love, you’ll have a blueprint for building and maintaining the business and the life of your dreams.
Let’s begin with a fundamental truth:
The one core ingredient needed to build and maintain a successful business is that you are IN LOVE with your business
and the dream you have for it.
How do you know its love?
I recognize five steps to being in love. The first step is CHEMISTRY!
You can’t explain chemistry. You can’t manifest it. You can’t force it. It just is. You’re drawn to that person. Chemistry is like a supernatural force that magnetizes you and pulls you in.
Chemistry is the initial ingredient to being in love and it is the first step in building your business. Answer the following
questions to identify the chemistry in your business.
- Are you drawn to your career by an unexplainable, powerful,
- Did your career just kind of find you?
- Does your business fulfill you in ways nothing else can?
- Do you believe you are fulfilling your purpose through your career?
Do you find fulfillment in this career that extends beyond the monetary?
If you answered these questions in the affirmative, you’re on the right track.
Chemistry will attract you to your soul mate and your soul career.
Chemistry is the first step to being in love. Chemistry can be the most powerful force on the planet! It is the magnetic power
that draws you to a certain person, a particular career, and specific dreams.
Don’t be afraid of that chemistry. However, you need to know the difference between love and lust. Lust is a craving or a
need. It’s a one night stand.
Lust never goes beyond the chemistry. It dies out. But love moves to the next step.
While both love and lust begin with chemistry, you’ll know it is love when three things are present. There are three
evidences of love. These three evidences of love are steps 2, 3, and 4 in the being in love cycle.
Step #1 is Chemistry.
The next step is consistent preoccupation.
Step #2: Consistent Preoccupation
Remember when you first fell in love? Think back to when you first met your spouse or your life partner. Remember how you
found yourself thinking of that person all the time! You’d wake up in the morning and think of them. You’d go to school or work
and think of them. You’d find yourself thinking about their safety even before you’d think about your own. Your thoughts
went something like this:
I wonder what she’s doing today. I wonder how she got to work this morning. I wonder if her car started okay. I’m ‘gunna
call her and see how she is.
These thoughts of preoccupation might surely have been the first self-less thoughts of your life! You couldn’t help yourself. Your mind just thought about that person constantly.
This is the second stage of being in love and building a successful business. You don’t even have to try to think about the business. You just do – all the time! You’re in love with the concept. You’re consumed with the idea. It’s a consistent
preoccupation! It creates PASSION!
Now, you may be saying to yourself, Lisa, it sounds like you’re telling me to be out of balance.
Yes, I am – for a reason. I believe you need to be out of balance at times to find balance. This stage of complete and incredible PASSION is temporary but vital to the process of falling in love.
It takes this kind of intense and consistent preoccupation to build the bridge for the next step in the cycle of being in love.
Step # 3: Willingness to do the Outrageous
Again, think back when you first fell in love. You did crazy things. You were bold. You found untapped courage in you that
you didn’t even know was there!
You did things with and for that person that you’ve never done before. And doing these things was not a burden. Doing things
for and with that person brought you pleasure!
For me it was hunting. When I first fell in love with Mark we had a lot in common except this one sport. I had never gone
hunting and had no interest to do so. However, within one year of dating Mark I was going on these incredibly fun adventures up in the Redwoods of California. It was amazing! The forests were rich in beauty and full of wisdom. I found so much joy
doing something I would never have done on my own account. And doing it was NOT a sacrifice.
That’s the point here. I’m not talking about sacrificing your happiness for another. When you’re in love you are willing to do
things you’ve never done before – and you find great joy and fulfilment in doing it. You do them because giving pleasure to
someone you’re in love with brings you pleasure.
It’s the same scenario when you’re in love with your business. It’s not a sacrifice to make cold calls. You can’t wait to pick
up the phone and share your great product with someone. It’s not a burden to give opportunity presentations.
You can’t wait to tell others about what you’ve got! It doesn’t drain you to learn and practice your craft. You’re
learning about something that you love.
It actually gives you energy!
Being in love changes your mind and transforms your heart. It’s like a stagnate deflated balloon that is finally being filled up with oxygen. It can expand and alter its shape. AND, that is exactly what it is meant to do.
The only danger in this stage is if the willingness to do the outrageous is one sided. Remember, the willingness to do the outrageous goes both ways. In true love it is always exchanged. I’m not talking about a 50/50 barter here.
I’m talking about 100% involvement – on both sides.
What are you willing to do to help grow your business this month?
What are you willing to try to create a closer connection to your spouse or life partner?
What are you willing to give up that is not serving you in your love of Building your business?
What are you willing to learn to build and maintain your love?
When you’re in love, you’ll do things that you never thought you would.
You will surprise yourself. And these things are not burdens or sacrifice. You do them because doing them brings you joy.
Steps to being in love:
- Consistent Preoccupation
- Willingness to do the Outrageous
Now we need to move into the 4th step to being in LOVE and how it applies to building a successful business. (WARNING: Now
we’re getting serious!)
Falling in love is an experience matched by no other! Chemistry draws you to a person or a career, which leads you to consistent preoccupation, which leads to a willingness to do some outrageous things – things you never thought you’d do, which leads you to.
STOP right now!
You are about to enter Step #4 in this cycle of love. And there is only one question that needs to be asked at this time. And it is this: What am I doing? or better yet.
Dear God, what the hell am I doing?!
This is a normal (and needed) question to ask at this time because the natural flow to falling in love is about to get
You are about to take falling in love to a higher lever and transform it into being in love.
Step #4: Desire to Make a Commitment
The best marital advice I ever received came from Dr. Gary Smalley. He said, Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and
half shut after.
Read that statement again.
This advice applies to building your business as well. Making a commitment to your business is a two part process: First, you
need to count the costs.
You need to make sure this is the one for you (keep your eyes wide open.) and you are willing to do whatever it takes to make
it succeed. Second, after making a commitment you need to ignore the annoyances and inconveniences that inevitably come
with every business venture (keep your eyes half shut.) This is the type of commitment that will empower you to never give up!
Making a commitment is a vow. There is no other option other than total and complete devotion.
I know many people today laugh at taking commitment this seriously. But look at the divorce rate of our time. Look at
the attrition rate in Direct Sales and Network Marketing. Look at the increased rate of troubled children who have been
What causes this?
Here’s the bottom line: It is guaranteed that every person in a marriage will at one time want out. It is guaranteed that
every person in business will at one point want to quit. The ONLY type of commitment that can withstand these gusts of
turmoil and uncertainty is a rock solid vow.
Look at the people who do take their commitments like a vow. These are the rare few who make up the top 3% of company
compensation plans. These are the few who experience true devoted love till death do us part. These are the few who walk through the shadow of hell with their troubled teen (or stop it before it gets that far) because they view their commitment as a vow and they will do whatever it takes to make it work!
Several months ago my twelve-year-old son, Beau was showing interest in some seriously bad things. One day I took him to
lunch, sat him down and said, I don’t care how far down this dark road you go. I will follow you. I don’t care how long it takes for you to stop this behavior. I will pursue you. I will be a relentless force who will NEVER give up on you. I will never tire of doing the right thing because you are worth it and I love you that much.
Well, after he stopped shaking (just kidding) he sat there processing everything I said. And after several seconds he slowly began to nod his head, smile at me, and say, Thanks, Mom.
A dear friend of mine is the president of an investment bank. After 22 years of building this empire, Gary received a phone
call one November morning.
It was from Bill, his second-in-command, to whom Gary recently turned over the day-to-day operations to. Bill informed Gary
that nine of his top people just walked into his office one at a time and resigned. As Bill was going through the list of names,
Gary’s mind was reeling. He knew what was going on. These nine people had a conspiracy. They learned the business by the best
in their industry and now they were planning to open up their own shop and try to put Gary out of business.
What do you do when you’re faced with such tremendous, unspeakable betrayal?
We just did $12 billion worth of bond sales last year, Gary thought to himself as he drove to the office. So why are they
bailing out now?
He quickly told himself that the why didn’t matter right now. The question to consider was not why, but what. What was he
going to do about it?
When he walked in his office, 20 minutes later, he was hit with bigger news. The nine people had taken the client list, the secret hedging formula and had already set up a business with the goal to drive his out.
Gary immediately called a company-wide meeting. Looking out at the faces of the 50 people who still remained, he told them
everything he knew about the situation and then assured them that he was willing to fight back and do whatever it took to
save the business and come back stronger than ever.
Gary laid out a challenge to each one remaining and said, This is a golden opportunity for many of you who want to move up in
the company. This is a chance for you to step up and prove yourself. Then he added, We’re going to war. And the first
battle begins tomorrow when they open for business and we get on the phone and write some orders. He concluded with, We’re
going to fight for the next year or more. And we will not lose this war, because we’re not going to give up a single order
without a battle! He told his staff that he would work the next year for no compensation. The profits would be skinny, bonuses would be skinny. We will survive, he said confidently. And we’ll come out the winners in this!
After Gary launched a legal battle – charging his former employees with banker’s trust, theft of both the client list and the secret hedging formula, and punitive damages, the new owners of the competition soon acknowledged their grievance. One year
after that November Monday morning the former employees settled the legal suit out of court for a hefty, eight-figure settlement!
They had won the battle and the war!
Today all nine of those former employees are out of a job and can’t show their face in the bond industry. Gary and his company tripled (yes, tripled) their business over the next year. And last year, five years after this incredible incident, Gary’s company did $60 billion dollars!
I can’t impress upon you enough how vital it is to make your commitments a vow.
If you are creating big things, you will inevitably face big challenge. You must have the solid conviction of your commitment to face those big challenges head-on, be willing to do whatever it takes to win, and never give up.
The ONLY type of commitment that can withstand these gusts of turmoil and uncertainty is a rock solid vow.
Have you made this type of commitment to your self, your dream, your business, your spouse, your children? Do you want to?
When you do, there is a promise that comes with making a commitment and it will help you to stay loyal to it.
The great promise that evolves from this type of commitment is, after you make it, it becomes a part of your very being. It’s just who you are. It becomes natural! The internal struggle is over.
The fifth and final step of being in love is being loyal. Being loyal comes naturally for the person who has made their commitment a part of their very being.
Step #5: Being Loyal
Being loyal is the climax and the ultimate goal. However, it is not the end of the story. And thinking it is can be one of
the biggest reasons for unhealthy, loveless, passionless, boring relationships.
These five steps are actually a continuous cycle. They are a moving, circular cycle of every love story. The more times you
move through the cycle, the deeper and stronger your love grows and the better you become.
Put this truth in a business context:
Step #1: Chemistry
You find a company, a product, or a business idea that you love. You’re drawn to it with an incredible powerful force.
Step #2: Consistent Occupation
You can’t get it out of your mind. You think about it all the time! You eat, drink, and sleep this idea.
Step #3: Willingness to do the Outrageous
Your passion for this idea leads you to bold action! You find the fuel to do the outrageous. You discover untapped courage to
act on your passion.
Step #4: Desire to Make a Commitment
You count the cost and decide to make a commitment. You’re willing to give it all you’ve got. You’re excited and so
hopeful for your great future!
Step #5: Being Loyal
Being loyal is who you are. It is in your very nature to stay committed to your dream. When inevitable setbacks and
challenges come up and you don’t feel like being loyal to your commitment and you don’t feel like making cold calls, you do it
anyway. You don’t feel like giving an opportunity meeting. But you do it anyway. You make the effort fuelled by discipline.
The next thing you know, you’re feeling better. Your action, fuelled by discipline, gives you results. You’re energized! You
really do reap what you sow and begin to feel on fire for your business again! Your chemistry is hot and your passion rekindled!
You begin the whole cycle over again.
You’ll go through these five steps of the Love Cycle throughout your entire career and your entire marriage. And every time you
go through it you become stronger.
I’m speaking of personal experience. I can identify at least fifteen different times Mark and I went through this cycle of
love. Today we’re in the middle of stage 5. I’ve had to come to terms with what I have control over and what I don’t. For
any of you that really know me, you know this is incredibly hard for me. What I continue to remind myself is this: I have
control over my beliefs, my thoughts, my words, and my actions – that’s it! I will concentrate on the things I have control over
and release everything else – especially the outcome.
This mantra has brought me unbelievable peace and enormous joy in a time of great turmoil. I pray the same for you.
What step of the cycle are you in today with your business?
What step of the cycle are you in today with your spouse or life partner?
Do you want to change that?
What do you want to change in your beliefs? Your thoughts? Your words? Your actions?
Take some time to answer those questions and make some critical decisions for creating your best life possible. And remember,
it doesn’t matter how you start.
It really only matters how you finish! Jump into the Cycle of Love and watch your destiny emerge.
This Continuous Cycle of Love is a blueprint for building a healthy, passion-filled, successful business – and marriage. I trust you will apply it to the loves of your life and let it grow you into the person you were always meant to be.
Rich in the spiritual. Rich in the material. Rich in character. Rich in love.
May you experience results that are beyond what you ever dreamed or imagined!
Lisa Jimenez M.Ed. has helped thousands of people eliminate their hidden fears and turn them into the driving force behind their success. Lisa’s Quantum Leap Coaching (QLC) Program is an intense six-month accountability plan that will motivate and inspire you to create and live your dreams. You’ll radically increase your business, improve yourself, and live a life you love! For more information on her programs and resources go to: www.RX-Success.com or call (954) 755-3670 or (800) 489-7391.