I am so blessed. In my many years in business I’ve met so many wonderful people and have had the opportunity to learn from some of the best in the business. Last week I had the good fortune to be included in one of Boardroom, Inc’s famous dinners. Once a month Marty Edelston the founder and chairman of Boardroom (Boardroom Reports, Bottom Line Personal, etc) gathers together two dozen people that he finds interesting, illuminating and inspirational for drinks, dinner and conversation. Marty’s dinners are legendary. This is my third and each is more stimulating than the one before.
Prior to last week’s dinner Marty sent an email out that said Please share with us your best ideas for coping-and thriving-both professionally and personally in this environment.
Hmmm. I let myself sit with that question for the whole weekend before responding and then I sat down to write and this article emerged. I trust you will find a gem in it that you can take and make your own. Each and every one of us bears the responsibility for adding to (or diminishing) the overall optimism of this economy. While a reasonable amount of pessimism is justified, there are several ways to look at the situation and here is how I am thinking about it – let me know if you agree.
While the time may not be right for seeing significant increases in financial capital, it’s a great time to build up your psychological capital. The new field of Positive Psychology, which explores how individuals can flourish and organizations thrive, is contributing more and more data to the case for Positivity. As an Authentic Happiness Coach and member of the Positive Workplace International, I am seeing time and time again that, by focusing attention carefully on our strengths and capabilities and using an appreciative style of leadership, we can increase performance, productivity,passion and enjoyment.
Psychological capital, in the forms of hope, optimism, confidence and resilience, can be deliberately created and helps us deal with the tough times today – and tuck a little away for tomorrow.
While many are quick to dismiss positive attitude as too simplistic a solution for what ails us now, a positive attitude is a doorway to an asset focused way of living that appreciates in value over time, delivering with it good health, stronger immune systems, broadened thinking, quicker problem solving, more friends, and as some report now, more money.
Using this time to build psychological capital will build your other resources as well – social capital (from building better, stronger more positive relationships), intellectual capital (from all those brilliant ideas that will be generated), traditional capital (in the form of increased sales, recognition, better jobs.)
We’ve been working out there for such a long time. Perhaps it’s time for Time IN according to Harvard’s Tal Ben Shaher. Tal’s course on happiness is the most popular at Harvard – he teaches thousands students every year that reflection and quiet time are critical to learning process and memory.
Individuals and whole companies might be using these challenging times to reflect on what they do best, how they can enhance it, and what inspires them to high performance and how they can accomplish it in a healthy, happy way. These are big questions that beg to be explored. Meantime…
Here are seven things this happiness coach recommends to leap past coping and start flourishing:
Make Positivity a priority. Start the day by being grateful and reflect on all the good things in your life. Intend, from the very beginning of the day, to see some good in everything.
- Recognize that happiness is a choice. By now most of us know that the happiness that comes from the circumstances and stuff out there is not lasting. Happiness is an inside job. You’ve got to be in it to win it.
- Create a set of rules for yourself that protects your Positivity. Allow yourself to walk away from negative news and situations. Give yourself permission to say No when you really mean no. That protects your ability to say Yes to the things that really matter for your well-being.
- Overcome the negativity bias left by evolution in our brains. We’re hardwired for harder times – our brains store the memory of a negative event – like burning your hand on a hot stove – deeper and longer than the memory of that red velvet cupcake you enjoyed so much. Pay attention to how you respond to things and be able to discern if you are reacting from something hard wired in the past or desired in the future.
- Be an overachiever with the Positivity Ratio. Bless those scientists! We now know that it takes a positive to negative ratio of more than 3:1 in order to feel sustainably happy. We recommend more – 5:1 based on the research of Dr. John Gottman of happy, flourishing marriages. For every one expression of negativity there are five that are positive in nature. Burn that number in your brain 5:1. Become your own learning lab. Test it over several months in the field – personally and professionally – and see what happens when you notice (and appreciate) five times more good than bad.
- Slow down. Consider where the energy gains and the energy drains are in your life. Do your best to eliminate the drains, and where you can’t, add more energy gaining items, like a walk around the block or a quick yoga pose to offset it. One of the most stunning findings of the research into the effects of positive emotion is that it has an un-doing effect on stress. HUGE.
- Know that what you focus on expands. If you focus on worry you’ll get more worry, if you focus on going broke, trust me, you will. If you focus on getting your cube-mate’s cold because they sneezed, you surely will. If you focus on how good you feel when you appreciate a friend’s best qualities, or when you are working on a project you love to do, you’ll get more of those feelings too.
- Savor and enjoy a client that is spending money with your company, savor and enjoy the company of friends at a weekend pot luck party. Take time to comment on the good times and share your gratitude for it with others. Do it from the heart. The heart is electrically more powerful than any other organ in the body – including the brain. Spend more time in heart space.
Enjoy this time and use it well to grow, connect, learn and give back. Optimists live 7 – 9 years longer than pessimists, so make your life extension program richer with Vitamin P – Positivity!
Have a happy day,
JoAnna
About the Author:
JoAnna Brandi is the author of 54 Ways to Stay Positive in a Changing, Challenging and Sometimes Negative World, as well as two books on customer loyalty. She is the owner of JoAnna Brandi & Company, Inc. You can find her thoughts on how to increase your ROH at www.ReturnOnHappiness.com
Marty Edelston is the founder and chairman of Boardroom Inc. You can learn more about their publications here http://bottomlinesecrets.com
JoAnna Brandi is Publisher of the Customer Care Coach® a weekly training program on mastering The Art and Science of Exquisite Customer Care. She is the author of Winning at Customer Retention, 101 Ways to Keep ’em Happy, Keep ’em Loyal and Keep ’em Coming Back and Building Customer Loyalty – 21 Essential Elements in ACTION, she writes a free email tip on customer caring. You can sign up at http://www.customercarecoach.com and http://www.customerretention.com. You can also reach JoAnna at 561-279-0027 or e-mail joanna@customercarecoach.com
JoAnna asks, Is your customer care EXQUISITE? Not sure? Take the Quiz https://www.customercarecoach.com/public/quiz.asp
