With the holidays in full swing, many of us have begun the shift into overdrive in an attempt to keep up and get all of the to-do’s accomplished: parties, school concerts, shopping, decorating, visiting, more shopping, etc., etc. The term hustle and bustle has its roots in this holiday for a reason! Unfortunately, if we fail to pay attention to what we’re doing and why we’re doing it, the holidays can not only become quite stressful, but also pass by so quickly that we miss the many opportunities to really enjoy them-for ourselves and with our children and families.
We celebrate Christmas in my family, so when I think back on the holidays as a child I have many enjoyable memories. One of my favorites is gathering with family and friends at my Grandma’s house after church on Christmas Eve. I also remember the excitement and anticipation of Santa coming and jumping on my brother’s bed at 5 a.m. on Christmas morning, singing Up on the Rooftop. And I remember the comfort and enjoyment of dinner with my family on Christmas Day.
I don’t remember how many presents were under the tree or what presents I received (except for my Grease soundtrack album!) and I don’t remember what we ate or what anybody wore. I only remember moments that are connected to feelings of comfort and happiness.
And here’s the thing: 25, 15 and even 5 years from now, our children won’t remember much of the material stuff either. They, too, will remember the special moments of connection and comfort in the same way we do. Current research is showing us that we are hardwired for this kind of connection and happiness. In his book, Social Intelligence, best-selling author and psychologist Daniel Goleman reveals that we have a social brain-an extensive circuitry of neural networks-that is wired to connect with others in a very deep and direct way. But the only way to experience this connection and create lasting memories is to slow down and tune in to what we’re doing and why we’re doing it.
When we get too caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holidays and run on adrenaline to get everything done, we literally cut ourselves off from the opportunity to enjoy ourselves and really connect with people. That’s the very nature of how adrenaline works in our bodies: it serves to disconnect us from how we’re feeling and what we remember-a state that couldn’t be further from what the holidays are all about.
With this in mind, this holiday season is a great opportunity to follow the lead of our children who have an amazing, natural ability to be in the present moment and connect with the things that matter most. Here are some simple ideas for how you can do the same:
- Create holiday traditions. Traditions are a powerful way to connect and create wonderful memories with your family. Have a decorating party with special treats, choose a night to get some hot cocoa-to-go and either walk or drive around to look at the light displays, have a secret gift exchange. Each year, I arrange for Mrs. Claus to send my children new pajamas and slippers the week before Christmas. We have a special delivery to the house and the kids are so excited to get a surprise gift and letter from Mrs. Claus!
- Create special holiday moments with your family. Play some fun holiday music and dance around the house with your kids. Snuggle up in bed and write letters to Santa. Or make popcorn and hot cocoa and watch holiday movies together-Barney’s Night Before Christmas and Disney’s The Santa Clause are two of our family’s favorites. These are fun and simple ways to spend special time together.
- Make a list and check it … only when you need it! More often than not, we have a constant stream of to-do’s swirling around in our heads-gifts to buy, presents to wrap, letters to write, packages to mail, etc, etc. All of this to-do thinking steals us away from the present moment and prevents us from enjoying the moment we’re in. Write down your to-do’s somewhere, get them out of your head and lighten up so you can enjoy your holiday moments!
- Become holiday efficient. Find ways to spend less time doing the things that rob you of your time and energy so you have more time to focus on the things that really matter to you. Shopping on-line, buying cookies and pastries instead of baking them yourself at 2 a.m., using a gift-wrapping service, being more selective about how many holiday functions you attend-these are just a few ways you can create more time for really connecting with family and friends.
As Abraham-Hicks teaches: Every single activity that you’re involved in is for one purpose only, and that is to give you a moment of joy. So lighten up, slow down, and connect more. Create a holiday your entire family will remember.
About the Author:
Dr. Kelly Pryde is a parenting and self-development expert and the founder of DreamKids-a company dedicated to celebrating and developing the potential of children and families. A speaker, author and mother of two, Kelly holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and offers inspiring and practical ideas for today’s parents. To learn more visit www.DrKellyPryde.com or www.dreamkids.ca.
