Have you ever wondered why certain individuals just flip your switch? The test of patience is beyond expression of words or feelings. Your comfort zone is now threatened. Simple things like their perfume, appearances, speech, or behavioral attitudes stir up juices inside us like a hot cauldron ready to boil over. They ignite the flame underneath this large melting pot and your emotions begin to simmer on a slow burn.

Many times we ignore these signs, failing to honor the purpose of triggers as signals towards healing those wounds hidden by illusions. Triggers can range in a variety of guideposts, such as:


  1. Annoyance of an individual: actions, ego, personality, appearances.
  2. Impatience felt while another is taking up your time; inconsiderate
  3. Whining, martyr-like tendencies, self-pity, self-centered.
  4. Feelings of being ignored, isolated, or alienated by one or many
  5. Emotions suppressed, repressed or compromised by another
  6. Exchange of services leaves one undervalued or unworthy
  7. Interruptions causes another with no respect or dignity
  8. Frustrations when you are not in control. "My way or the highway."
  9. Request not honored or accepted, leaving another with an imposition
  10. Assertive/aggressive behavior leaves one without a choice
  11. Lack of courtesy, returning calls, responding in a timely manner
  12. Where are you in the equation of exchange?
  13. Television – Reality shows: real vs. unreal
  14. Music – Messages that stir up an array of emotions
  15. A promise is not kept leaves another questioning their word.
  16. Judgments, expectations, and approval causes anxiety
  17. Inconvenienced by others: traffic, grocery stores, phone calls.

The primary use of triggers that surface in our lives, is the messages connected to anger. Anger hangs around like an uninvited guest ready to "bomb" or "crash" your party. Anger typically follows those above referenced situations, as it brews silently until the pressure within can no longer be contained. We have two choices when these situations arise: A) Awaken to the joy of the gift of the message or, B) refuse to see the value of the lesson and continue to deny ownership or responsibility of your actions until it becomes so unbearable that change is difficult. Anger doesn't go away, until it's resolved.

Anger is a gift within each and every one of us. It is designed for us to learn and "heal" this wound that has festered. Anger requires lancing in order to heal once and for all, through acceptance of truth. To understand this concept differently, anger allows us to notice those circumstances where we as individuals explode internally as well as externally with reactions of extreme uncontrollable behaviors. Generally, the result of the actions delivered is hardly positive for anyone in close proximity. The key of anger is the point where in fact, you decide to step over the line causing pain to yourself and others, or choosing a more mature approach by taking a higher road.

Believe it or not, this series of events can escalate as it mounts and heads out of control. Most of the occurrences experienced are allowing you the beauty of the moment where we are able to discern our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions when we become off-balanced and momentarily unstable.

Anger appears, reappears and proceeds in a cyclical pattern until we honor and own the lesson it teaches. The longer we deny this process, the longer its takes our own essence to evolve into aligning with the truth, and the magnificent beauty of who we really are, a Divine loving creature, One with the Universe.

Once we identify and wrap our thoughts around the idea of this problem really didn't matter, then we allow a shift to change our views. This shift shows
the problem as an illusion created and planted deep within our own mind. At this stage, we can begin to empower our consciousness to awaken and embrace the process of holding our treasure, not as a buried gift but as a sparkling gem shining from within our hearts, sharing this brilliance with others.

Here's an exercise that allows truth of anger to unravel:


  1. Sit upright in a comfortable chair with your feet planted firmly on the floor
  2. Close your eyes and breathe deeply, envisioning this brilliant beam of light connecting to your crown chakra (top of your head)
  3. As you breathe deeply and feel centered with this light, slowly open your eyes.
  4. Hold a hand mirror (pocket mirror) or stand in front of a mirror, whatever you prefer. Remember to continue bringing the light into your crown chakra area.
  5. With your eyes open…spend the next several minutes gazing into the center of your eyes. Stay fixed as long as possible, gazing deep into your eyes. Meanwhile, continue breathing deeply as you place your right hand over your heart. Continue deep centered breathing.
  6. Feeling the energy that this begins within you. Stay with it…you will be fine. Keep breathing all the way through this process.
  7. Now, ask yourself these questions: What has happened that reflects me? What part of me has been hurt and injured, that I have not healed, or honored and am I willing to do so now? (You should receive simple words…clues…visions…connecting you to the projections that have been placed on others by you…now you can identify it, voice it, acknowledge it, accept it, release this wound you have harbored, and finally forgive yourself and allow yourself the permission to be forgiven.)


When we acknowledge our part in the drama of life's play along with the events we have created from start to finish, we obtain breakthroughs. We identify with how our own powers sabotaged our abilities towards giving love, receiving love and maintaining that love in our lives. Only at this moment, can we fully embrace the powerful process that anger affords us to heal whole and completely.

My guidance when tempers flare, irritations develop, and you become isolated and separated, honor the process of noticing the role you played in the grand finale. When we attempt to seek, we don't find, it is still our illusion. When we accept ourselves as we are, only then do we become aligned as ONE.

Next time you feel caught up in reacting with emotions or feel compelled to utter harsh words, remember the mirror test. Ask yourself what part of yourself have you camouflaged? Why? If someone knew the truth of your feelings, how would you act? Could you bare someone else knowing your truth? What is the truth of the anger you prefer to hide? Are you your own worst enemy, victim or prisoner?


The mirror tells all from the window of your soul, the key to your buried treasure. Anger allows liberation. Anger exposes the center of vulnerabilities.
Let anger go, it is heavy stone that burdens your heart. Be still and listen to your own truth to heal the anger as you find joy.


Joy Malumphy is a Spiritual Transformational Counselor, Reiki Master Teacher, and Intuitive. For more information you may e-mail Joy at: Bxquisite@ AOL.com regarding schedules, services, and structure of pricing.