You may want to grab a pen and some blank paper, and the beverage of your choice… Now, let’s get started building YOUR business!

Lesson 5


Please answer this very important question.

If I could give you a MORE EFFECTIVE selling strategy than the one you are currently using, one that would outperform your current method, would you be interested?



I’m going to show you how to make people absolutely LOVE working with you. They’ll love you so much that you wont’ even have to worry about losing them to the competition. I’m going to show you how to give them what they really want.

Sometimes the most POWERFUL ideas come wrapped in a very small package.

Are you ready for the big secret?

=======> LISTEN TO THEM <=======

No, you didn’t get gypped on this lesson. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE. But remember, ‘simple’ isn’t always easy.

We’re going to go over a special formula for listening that never ceases to amaze the people I teach it to.

My students have told me that, when they begin using the information I’m giving you today, people just open up and tell them all kinds of things!

This WAY OF LISTENING puts people so at ease that they won’t know why, but they want to talk to you. They feel valued and important. They want to be around you, to spend more time with you.

Can you see the POWER of prospects and clients WANTING to spend MORE TIME with you?

This is a two-step formula that WILL create results in your business… and your life.


Step One Is



We have two ears and only one mouth, so lets take a hint from Mother Nature. When you listen MORE than you talk three good things happen.

1. You LEARN what the other person is all about.
2. You RESPECT that person by giving them your time.
3. You BUILD your reputation as a good listener.


All three are VITAL in your business. Clients want suppliers who will LISTEN to THEIR NEEDS, no shoot of their mouths about how great their latest ribbon is! This is SELLING POWER, and it’s yours to use.

Now for the second, and perhaps most powerful step.


Step Two Is To



SOFTEN is a formula that the super successful people in business and politics use all the time. You won’t read about it in many “how to” books or see any seminars on how to use it. But try it ONCE and I guarantee it will work WONDERS for your business and your life. After all, clients are people first, and this is HOW to show people that your focus is on THEM.

Let’s take it one step at a time.


A smile is the universal sign of friendliness. A genuine smile radiates though your entire being and can EVEN BE DETECTED OVER THE PHONE LINES.

Don’t kid yourself. The first tool a professional telemarketer is given is a mirror. Your attitude travels over the phone line at the same speed as your voice. Ever talk to a loved one and just know something was wrong? In the same way, the person you call can “see” the expression on YOUR face.

The next time call a client, put a mirror on your desk, give yourself a silly grin before you dial, and listen to the difference in your tone.

Smiles are contagious … give it a try.


O = Open Posture

When you’re speaking face-to-face, turn your body toward the person and look attentive. Don’t cross your arms or turn your head away. Even if you are hanging on every word, you risk looking like you’re not paying attention if your posture is closed.

The first President Bush apparently had a problem with open posture in his cabinet meetings.

It’s said he used to sit back in his chair, with his head is his hands, eyes closed while his advisors spoke. People would think he was sleeping until he’d jump up, say, ‘This is what we’re going to do.. .., bam, bam, bam.’

President Bush wasn’t sleeping – he was concentrating intently, but the people he was working with felt like they might as well have been taking to a wall for all the attention he was giving them.

If you’re the President of the free world, you might be able to get away with this sort of listening posture, but if you’re in the business, your clients better feel like they’re being listened to and heard.


F = Forward Lean

Leaning forward makes people feel like you don’t want to miss a word they’re saying. It makes them feel important, like you really care about them. When you make them feel this way, they reciprocate and take what you say more seriously.

HOT TIP: While leaning forward shows you are attentive, be very careful to avoid invading a person’s personal space. Be attentive, but don’t invade.

Watch the person and see how they move. Do they look comfortable? Are they leaning toward you as you speak?

If they’re tense, or edging away, you’re probably too close. Back up a bit, so you can still lean forward and have them be comfortable.


T = Tone

Your tone should reflect the place you’re in and the conversation you’re having. You don’t want to mumble, nor do you want to shout or whisper.

To chose the correct tone, just think about where you are.

In a study by Harvard University, and the Stanford Research Institute, it was found that the actual words you say count for only about 7% of the overall impression you make on a person.


Moral of the story – watch the tone.

E = Eye Contact

This one just can’t be overstated. Making solid eye contact is the strongest way possible to show respect for, and attention to, the person you are with.

Eye contact is so important in conversation. Whenever you talk to someone, no matter how brief the exchange, always, always, always, make direct eye contact.

A warm and friendly expression with that contact will leave the person with a positive lasting positive impression of you.

In some cultures it’s considered an offense to NOT make eye contact.

In the US we maintain eye contact about 40-60% of the time.

People who do less than that make us feel like they’re shifty or untrustworthy, or painfully shy. Neither one of those impressions is good for making lasting business relationships!

Now that I’ve preached the importance of good eye contact, let me tell you the rest of the story. You can make TOO MUCH eye contact as well.

People with more than 60% eye contact make us uncomfortable. They can seem dominating and intimidating, or just plain weird. And who wants to do business with someone like that.

The key is to make eye contact EARLY in the conversation, establishing that you are connected to them. Then if your eyes drift off it won’t be a problem at all.

HOT TIP: To make a dramatic impact in your selling presentation, make direct eye contact at the same moment you use the strongest wording in your presentation.


N = Nod

Nodding lets the other person know that you understand what they’re saying, that you agree, and more importantly, that you’re still listening.

You can also say ‘mmm,’ ‘interesting,’ ‘really,’ and ‘tell me more.’

Again, the speaker feels valued and comfortable. Nine times out of ten they’ll just keep on talking and you’ll gain a great deal of insight into them.

It’s amazing when it happens to you, but people really do say, ‘You know, I really don’t know why I’m telling you this, but.. ..’

=======> Now YOU try it!

If you want to see these techniques in action, watch some professional interviewers. The people on the Today show, or people like Larry King, get paid literally millions of dollars to interview others. After you read this article, watch them more closely and see how many of these techniques they use.

These techniques are very powerful when used properly, but don’t abuse them. The last thing you want is to become artificial when dealing with people.

You need to have a genuine interest in your clients and prospects, and what goes on in their lives. The SOFTEN method just helps you better show them your interest.

=======> What’s In It For You

Learning these two techniques will simply make you more money. What you want is to position yourself as what…

(Remember lesson three?)
You want to be the ‘welcome guest’
Not the ‘annoying pest” !!

When you keep the focus on your client, their needs, their lives you will find there is NEVER a need to hard sell. All you need do is LISTEN and meet their needs!!


=======> In Your Next Lesson

In the next lesson, we’re going to take the budding relationship that you’ve just started and turn it into a life-long one.

In other words, you’re going to learn,

The Secret to Keeping Your Customers Forever


Liz Thompson is the co-founder and CEO of She is also the founder of, the premier educational site for the gift industry. She is the author of 6 books and can be reached through her web sites: and , by e-mail at, or by calling (304) 725-2502.