Dear Dr. Jackie:

Recently, it almost feels like I am in a relationship by myself. My partner and I are always busy with other things and we hardly see each other. What advice can you give us that will bring us back together to enjoy the relationship I know we both want?


Relationships are like bank accounts. If you keep pulling money out without making deposits you will go bankrupt. What does the balance sheet of your love life look like?

You know, relationships are living breathing entities. Our investment of deliberate intention, and focused time, energy and attention is the order of the day. Your relationship can’t wait until it is convenient for you; or until you have finished everything on your to-do list; or until you are at leisure.

Being a successful Honey and being a successful career person at the same time requires some serious intention, investment and commitment from both partners. Relationships grow and flourish when both people show up and make consistent deposits. One person alone, even if that one person makes huge deposits, cannot build and maintain a joyful, satisfying relationship for both of you.

Do you spend more time each week watching television or commuting to work than you do alone with your Beloved? Or are you too busy to even have a beloved?

I think you’d agree that to keep that spark alive, you and your partner must spend quality, eyeball-to-eyeball time together.

Think back to when you first started dating. What did you do? What things did you both enjoy that you no longer make time to do?

Remind yourself and each other of all the reasons you fell in love.

Let your creative juices flow! Let your imagination go wild! Anything goes. This is the most important person in your life. Rejoice! Celebrate yourself and each other. Let this Valentine’s Day be your good reason.

And if you haven’t met your special someone yet, the person who matches your values and makes your heart sing; remember, when you are actively engaged in the life that you love you more easily attract the love of your life!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

About the Author:

Is it time to repair and revitalize your marriage? Dr. Jackie Black, International Relationship Expert, Educator, Author and Coach, offers advice, information, and support to couples in trouble and couples facing illness so they can rebuild and restore the closeness in their relationships and live their best life and love life together. Subscribe to Dr. Jackie’s free monthly Relationship Tip Sheet and read about Dr. Jackie’s coaching services at Watch for Dr. Jackie’s new books Couples and Money: Cracking the code to ending the #1 conflict in marriage, and People Talking: Cracking the code to being understood.

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