How does a seemingly normal, modern day family fall apart at the seams? Is it possible that parts of our family history repeat themselves in us? Even though we try to avoid negative situations we witnessed in our parents’ lives, are we doomed to follow suit?
We already know, like it or not, that we inherit certain traits from our parents genetically, but do other, negative psychological patterns, habits and behaviors imprinted on our brains in our youth affect our own adult and family behavior no matter what we do?
Let us step back a few generations and start with some grandparents. They may have immigrated to the Midwest from somewhere in Europe and continued their life as farmers, just as their parents did and those before them.
They have large families, four, five, six children. Most become–farmers. The children may be poorly educated due to pressures to work the farm instead of attending school.
A farmer’s daughter and a farmer’s son get married and give birth to a boy, Bill. They fail as farmers and seek better opportunities in the nearest city. They struggle–the father works as a trucker and the mother a seamstress. They work hard, try a business venture together with the mother’s brother, it fails, bad blood. They continue to work hard and argue over money daily. The mother is a bitter woman and a skinflint.
Bill’s grandparents eventually die and the family fights over the booty, more bad blood, sisters and brothers now hate each other, the family has fallen apart over money. Bill swears he will not end up like his negative, greedy parents and relatives.
Bill becomes a latch key kid, he skips school, gets into trouble and decides school is for idiots, quits and works at menial jobs. He ends up working for a utility company and spends ten years there. During that time he meets a working girl, Donna, and gets married.
Bill is drawn into a venture, quits his utilities job and enters a new world. They have a son, Mark. After many business ventures, gaining much experience, Bill creates an international business and he and Donna, now making large dollars, learn to live the good life. They develop a different perspective of the world than their parents. Mark gets everything he wants in life, is carefully reared, and avoids trouble and drugs thanks to attentive loving parents.
Many years later trusted employees embezzle Bill’s company, he sells what assets are left and starts a tech company, he pours several years and everything they have into it, the company craters and takes the family down with it. Bill has a complete melt down, an incompetent doctor, and no money for proper care or drugs.
Mark goes to work and has to survive on his own, but the family is close and they tough it out. Bill’s parents are not nice people and are reluctant to help. Bill and Donna go on welfare and Bill tries everything he can to recover his power to earn a living–life is hard.
Bill’s parents begin to help financially, but Bill and Donna pay a heavy price from the verbal abuse they must endure for the money. Mark begins to do well and also helps his parents, but Bill is burnt out and getting nowhere.
Both of Bill’s parents suffer from depression hidden behind anger and negativity, and Bill, due to his genetic ties to his parents is horribly depressed and is not aware of how badly it is affecting him, he just keeps trying to survive financially.
Mark meets a girl from a divorced family. The girl is a know it all and thinks that dad is just some loser regardless of his impressive history and illness. After a few years they marry, Bill and the girl do not get along, there is huge fight over money and Mark is estranged from his family.
Bill finds a new doctor, is now on heavy drugs for hypertension, posttraumatic stress disorder and severe clinical depression but, he is still determined to come back from disaster.
Was it fate, heredity, predetermined family history repeating itself–some might say this family is dysfunctional.
About the Author:
Joseph N. Kolton is a seasoned entrepreneur, author, humorist, closet philosopher and the founder of myPhotoLottery.com. For fun and cash prizes visit http://www.myphotolottery.com and click on Family Photo or any other of your favorites in the menu bar.
