People who play the victim game often point fingers at others as the responsible party for their current situation. I do not know how many times I have heard people say these phrases: “I never get a chance to…”, “I am unhappy because they…”, “I cannot have what I want”, or even “I do not have a life.” You do have a life and chances to make a difference in your own life and the lives of others. Remember this echoing phrase, “Life is what you make it.” We all have the same amount of time in a day. All too often the people who say these comments blame others for not getting what they want. Sad thing is…nobody ever knew what they wanted. You are responsible for your chances, happiness, and the excitement in your life. YOU – you cannot blame others for what is in your control. The choice lies within you.

Your happiness depends on you. That’s right. If you are searching outside of yourself for your happiness and saying to yourself, “I will be happy when…. I have the big house or an expensive car,” you are cheating yourself out of all you have and all you have accomplished to date. If you do not appreciate the present, when you have the things you yearned for, you will not appreciate them either as you will be yearning for something else.

Get Clear on What You Want. You can have what you want, however, many people do not get what they want because they are not always clear on what exactly it is they want or expect from themselves or others. I have seen spouses get upset about the other person fulfilling their needs or holding them back from going after what they want. The only problem is no one clearly expressed what it was they wanted; they made assumptions.

Set Your Priorities. You are the one who knows what is important to you. You need to choose and balance what you want to achieve. Let’s say you are frustrated because you cannot go to the gym for one and a half hours so you do not bother going. Who is suffering? Who is responsible for your health? You are! Going to the gym or for a walk for 30 minutes is still better that you coming home to sit on the couch. Do something toward reaching your goal instead of nothing.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. You need to let people know what it is you want to achieve. This works both personally and professionally. People want to help others achieve. It makes them feel good to know that they were a contributing factor to your success. If people do not know what you want, how can they help you?

Remember You Have Choices. If you need a babysitter so you can get to the gym, connect with a responsible teenager in your area. Check and see if your gym has babysitting available. Maybe you can even swap babysitting with another mother in your area so you both can benefit. There are options to help you achieve what you want. Many businesses are formed because of the need for options and lifestyle.

Ask for Help. If your options are not working out, do not give up. Ask others for help or referrals to people they know, like, and trust. Tap into the new opportunities and options available.

Compromise and Create Win-Win. There are times when you may have to compromise to get what you want by helping others get what they want. That’s a great deal. Remember you can delegate to others to help you achieve what you want. You do not have to do it all.

Go and Get It. You have to develop a take action mindset. The responsibility for achieving what you want lies in you. Think about how badly you want something. Are you willing to go the distance and do what it takes to get there? If so, go and get it!
Might be a bit of tough love but…stop blaming, complaining, or make excuses about why you have not achieved what you want. The person responsible for your life is the person looking back at you in the mirror every morning and every night. That person is – YOU!

About the Author:

Debra Kasowski is the Founder/CEO of The Millionaire Woman. She is a motivational speaker, coach, and author. Debra loves to inspire and empower others to become rich from the inside out. Sign Up for her FREE Special Edition newsletter and receive monthly newsletter at or follow her blog The Millionaire Woman Minute

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