Guilt is the worst self-punishment and hurt, pain and guilt feeling can destroy your ability to live your life. There is nothing as negatively forceful to pin you down to your socks as constant guilt.

You can hardly ever smile and if you do, you feel guilty about it. Your subconsciousness automatically goes into action and asks you: “How can you smile when…?”

All the “could have, should have and would have” come out as a result of the times we felt punished for something during childhood. Whether we remember the situations correct or not, they stay in our subconsciousness and make us feel, even as grown-ups, that if we don’t do this or that the right way we will be punished, we will not be loved and not accepted.

Of course this comes up when you want it the least, when it is especially important to you that things turn out well. Somehow at this moment you feel overwhelmed by that unnecessary feeling of fear and guilt that pushes it’s way forward and spoils everything for you.

It happens at special moments with your partner, when you are on that first hopeful and exiting date, at family gatherings, the yearly outing with your kids and also at the time at work when you really need to be up on your toes.

You have become a total downer for yourself and every body around you and a change of mindset is necessary.

So you wonder why all this happens to you and where that feeling of guilt comes from and not the least what you can do about getting to live your life without guilt.

Let go of negativity rooted in the past.

Realize that the childhood feeling of being scared and afraid without you noticing it comes forward and helps you think: “Oh, I better feel guilty about this because I am not supposed to do things like this.”

This will easily be followed by thoughts like: ” I don’t deserve to be happy because I am so bad.” It doesn’t matter whether you are older or younger; it is still the same feeling.

Think about that when you live with the past as your daily partner, you miss out on the greatness of living in the present.

Here are four tools to help you get rid of your unnecessary guilt feeling.

1. No matter what you recurring feel guilty about, think how unnecessary this feeling is and that the cause is part of your life history and not part of your life NOW.

2. Ask yourself:

a) In which way does this guilt feeling serve me?

b) In which way does this guilt feeling harm me?

3. Take a notebook and a pen and write down all the events, actions, thoughts that you feel are giving you guilt feelings and hindering you now. Everything from the smallest to the biggest and do not be surprised if memories of events you have not thought about for many years come up. It is hard to go through all those things that have pained you for many years and you might want to talk to somebody you trust. Maybe you feel t necessary to apologize to somebody, want forgiveness and if so here is your chance to do it now. Do not hold back talking about these things, face them, learn from them, take due responsibility and then send everything away to that corner of your memory and subconscious mind where it stays enclosed by you.

The more of your past you deal with, the more space you get for memories of positive events and daily positive thoughts. Remember that you are human and humans are not perfect.

4. Get your notebook and a pen and make a list of all the good things you have done when you were younger and also lately. Try to remember everything.

It is time to choose something different.

Make an extensive list of all the things you are grateful for, what sets you in a good mood, what makes you smile and feel happy.

Write the last list every day for a month and you will soon see, how the world around you changes.

You know why?

The reason is that YOU change your attitude and become more and more positive.

Concentrate and focus on the things that serve you now. Throw away your guilt feeling that doesn’t serve you, embrace your good memories and let them support you positively in your daily life.

About the Author:

PIA BALLING is a former international tennis player and retired businesswoman.

She is driven to make life a wonderful and exiting experience for as many people as possible by supporting health and a rich life living through body and mind, personal growth programs and coaching.

It took her a lifetime to find the balance after long and strenuous periods of economic ups and downs as well as difficult personal times.

Now she has finally arrived to live a wonderful fascinating happy life. Part of her learning on life’s journey is sharing and helping others succeed to fulfill their special dreams in life. She has just published her newest paper book The Perpetual Happiness Machine.

On her website you will discover how to be happy in every aspect of life, whether it’s in relationships, money, sports or well being.

For more please visit her website at

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