Have you ever asked yourself questions like these?
Why don’t I do things I love to do anymore?
Why do I feel so alone?
Why am I afraid of so many things?
Why can’t I pursue my dreams?
Why don’t I leave my job and do what I want to do?
AND THE ANSWER IS …
You decided.
Maybe you don’t remember the exact moment – but you decided not do the things you love to do, decided not to trust again, decided to stop doing things that appear too difficult, decided to not believe in your dreams and decided not do the work that really excites you.
Have you ever told a story like this to anyone?
One time I decided to get the job I really wanted, but it made too many people unhappy so I will never do that again.
One time I took a bus and it was so awful I will never take the bus again.
One time I played golf and I made a fool of myself so I decided to never play golf again.
One time I gave a speech and someone laughed so I never spoke in front of a group again.
One time I was deeply in love and they left me so I will never trust again.
AND THAT IS HOW IT HAPPENS.
One time – something happened that wasn’t just right – and that was the end of that. Isn’t that silly? What if a baby said, “One time I stood up and then I fell down so now I don’t stand up anymore.”
Think about it.
EVERY decision of “I won’t do that again,” was made when you were younger than you are now and didn’t know as much about anything as you do now. In addition, usually the decision was based on circumstances that are no longer true.
Are you aware how many things you have decided, “not to do again?” Discover what you have stopped doing by paying attention to how you rationalize to your friends your decisions about not trying something. Listen carefully and you will hear yourself tell the story of the original problem.
Are you willing to live your life based on a decision you made when you were 2 – 5 – 10 – 20 – 40 or even yesterday? Couldn’t we all just try again?
TO TRY AGAIN – PUSH ON THE PAIN.
Years ago I wanted to learn scuba diving. I did very well. In fact I did so well when we went out on the boat for the dive no one paid much attention to me. The instructor was busy with the others who seemed afraid. I wasn’t afraid at all – until I got in the water and swam away from the boat. As I scanned where I was – in the middle of nowhere – I experienced a panic attack. It took several minutes before anyone noticed my thrashing around and helped me back to the boat.
I wanted to say – “One time I went scuba diving and it was way too scary so I will never do that again.” But I didn’t. Instead I pushed on the pain. At least once a day I would imagine myself back out in the water and I would re-experience the panic. I was getting a lot of dental work done at the time so waiting for the dentist in the dental chair proved to be a great time to do this, but anyplace will do. Every time I pushed on the pain by reliving the experience I broke out into a sweat and started shaking. However, each time I played the scene over the panic would subside a little bit more until one day nothing happened at all and I was able to imagine myself back out in the water actually diving and enjoying it.
I booked myself to go out with my original instructor on the next dive. It had taken me six months to feel ready, but the instructor was delighted that I was going to try again. I was still afraid, but with the guidance and support of the instructor and a friend – I made it out and back and I will never forget the feeling of elation I experienced as the rest of the dive group celebrated my personal victory.
Besides pushing on the pain – there is another principle in this story. I asked for help from someone that could and would help me – the instructor and a scuba diving friend.
ASK FOR HELP.
One of my granddaughters is still a little afraid of going in the closed slide at McDonalds. It doesn’t stop her though. She goes up to one of the other kids who is easily going through the slide and says ” I am a little afraid, would you hold my hand?” These perfect strangers always say “yes.” Wouldn’t you? We can all find someone who is not afraid of doing what we are afraid of doing and ask if they will “hold our hand” while we try again.
LEARN THE LESSON AND DO IT AGAIN
Sometimes we should NOT do it again. We should not go back to abusive relationships, not put our hand on a hot stove, not step out in front of a car. But we may do that same dumb thing again if we just say, “I will never to that again” without any understanding of what happened. The whole event or choice wasn’t wrong; it was a part of it that was wrong. After all we all need to be loved, we all need to use the stove and we all have to the cross the street sometime. Figure out which part not to do again and then never do it THAT WAY AGAIN. Decide to love again, travel again, dream again, trust again, speak again and experience the full, abundant and free life you were meant to live.
Beca (Lee) Lewis is the Author of Living in Grace: The Shift to Spiritual Perception
Click here to visit www.theshift.com for more free information on spiritual perception.
