Have you ever caught yourself saying something, stopped in mid sentence, and realized you were speaking the words of someone else? Standing there, you wonder, where did that come from?
We become the beliefs, feelings and sayings of those we were surrounded by most during the first five years of our lives. Born living in our subconscious minds, we learn from all that we see, hear, feel, taste, touch and sense, we literally absorb our environments. We model our behaviours from what influences us. Right from wrong, good or bad, polite or rude.
These teachings set the wheels of life in motion, turning, circling, forming ridges along the paths we travel. The more times we do things the same way, these ridges are cut deeper into our landscape. Over time, becoming the perspective from which we see everything.
As we age, we add to what we already know and start carrying excess baggage. We attach this weight to our beliefs. Our core personalities are formed from these bits and pieces and we become made up of these fragments we cling to, and carry with us into adulthood.
Even though we feel uncomfortable at a deep level, we solder on, convincing ourselves with our mind talk that we love what we have created. When in truth we are just hiding from the parts of us we don’t like very much.
We create ways to hide these ugly parts from society, we eat to push down our true emotions, we smoke to cool our anger and anxiety, we exercise and manage to distance ourselves from the emotional pain through strenuous movement. All the while wearing the mask that shows the world we’re okay, we really have got it all together.
Until those times when we catch ourselves speaking in another’s voice, and we begin to wonder, who have I become?
During these winter months it is the perfect time to begin to listen for all these fragmented voices that live inside of us. Our bodies naturally slow down during these cold, dark times. This is the ripe season to practice this skill, yes it is a skill, of catching yourself in ‘the’ act. Speaking and behaving as was modelled to you, as opposed to what truly feels good to you in your body.
When you hear yourself, stop. Breathe deeply, all the way into the bottom of your tummy, and feel what you are really feeling. Once you get an inkling of what it is, use it and ask the five year old that lives inside of you, what she needs to feel better, to feel more comfortable in her own skin. Then find a way to give that to her now.
Make a commitment to create a partnership with your inner child and reclaim any and all parts of you that have been fragmented by the voices who passed on their learned wisdom, the best way they knew how. Together you can create a path that feels most authentic to you.
