This article is about relationships and the conflicts that occasionally occur within them. Sometimes an explosive conflict can be a good thing. Have you ever thought about turning a ‘dynamite explosion’ into a gift?


Most of the time we look at an ‘explosion’ as a negative thing. In addition to anger and fear, I’m also talking about feelings of betrayal, distrust or a breach of confidence – that type of thing. Certainly emotions like these probably will grab both parties in a negative way to start with.


Guess what? An explosion can actually clear the air and open the doors for your relationship to become even better, stronger and much more fulfilling for each of you. Here are seven simple tips to help you turn these explosive situations into positive solutions.



  1. First of all, I ask you to keep in mind that things are not always as they appear. Often times you might have a misunderstanding. It happens to everybody. This is an encouragement for you to go back and look at your situation from a different perspective. Try to understand where your partner is coming from. Review your communications. Double check on what the expectations from each of you actually were.
  2. Another thing you can do is to look for the underlying drivers for each of your lives to see what actually caused this to be an explosion. Look at your core principles. Look at your personal values – your fundamental rules of life. Is there a different value system, different priorities or possibly different goals or expectations?
  3. Different does not mean wrong. Individuality is what can bring variety, excitement and energy into relationships. Remember, relationships are all about cooperation instead of competition. When respected and built upon, differences can be a source of strength in your relationship.
  4. Emotions can play a very significant role in conflict situations. Sometimes emotions accidentally get out of hand and that can blow everything way out of proportion. Let me suggest that you do whatever you can to calm your thoughts and quiet your emotions. Then, open your spirit enough to enable you to step back and allow your vision to clearly see what is really happening.
  5. Check to see where the actual problem is. Sometimes there simply was a mistake and the explosion was on an issue that is totally different than what was presented as the problem. Many people have found that what they thought was the problem was only the symptom of something deeper. Only after you have correctly identified the real issue will you be able to correct it.
  6. What is good about this situation? Take some time to write down a list of the good things that could develop in the future, as well as those that have already resulted from your time together. Write a list of things that you are grateful for and another list of things that you accomplished from this relationship that you can be proud of.
  7. One idea that has worked well for others is to brainstorm these situations with a trusted mastermind team. When you examine a conflict, I suggest you focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and come to the mastermind session with the specific intention to create a healthy and positive outcome for all concerned.

Now you will need to make some decisions about both the problem and your relationship. The type of relationship will determine to a large extent what options you will look at for resolving your explosive issue.


Some relationships are significant and intended to be very long-term. Others may have been designed to be somewhat shorter in length or less important to your everyday life. What was your intention for the length and depth of this relationship when you began it?


Once both of you have gained clarity and come to a mutual understanding of the type and value for the future of your relationship, you and your partner can work to resolve the issues that created the explosion. As you begin your discussion, tell your partner what you are grateful for and thank them for their participation.


What you think about, you bring about. So, I urge you to focus on the good qualities you would like to have more of. One or two things will happen as a result of spending time and energy in discussion on this. At this point, your relationship could be moved fairly dramatically, one way or the other.


In some situations, you will decide that your differences are long-term irreconcilable, too significant or too big to work out based on the values each of you hold. You will either dramatically reduce the relationship or end it entirely. Remember, what you focus on expands, so if you do choose to end it, I suggest you end it on peaceful terms with gratitude and forgiveness.


On the other hand, the bonds in some relationships can become stronger and you grow closer as mutual understanding increases. The quality of your life is determined by the choices you make. With any conflict, you can choose to gain greater perspectives, build new strengths and develop new tools for success.


The beauty of a dynamite explosion in your relationship is that when properly approached and handled with a healthy positive attitude, conflict can be a time of rewarding personal growth. It will give you the gift of increased awareness and improved understanding. Each explosion is a marvelous opportunity to transform your problems into positives, giving you gifts of insight and energy to create a stronger, more fulfilling life!



About the Author:


John Carpenter Dealey is dedicated to helping people solve problems, recognize (and take full advantage of) marvelous opportunities available to them and helping people reach their dreams and goals with “ease and grace.” Visit his website at: http://dr-mastermind.com/home.php


John enthusiastically started his first business at age nine, joined his first MasterMind group in 1972, and became a “self-made millionaire” by the age of 27. If you would like to learn how to apply these powerful principles in your own life, sign up for a free subscription to MasterMind Tips ezine at: http://www.dr-mastermind.com/

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