I’m “different” – always have been. My parents are “different”
too, and as a kid that bugged me. I was ashamed when my mother
came to school sunburned in jeans and boots and smelling of
horse manure. The other mothers had perfectly coiffed hair and
perfume and their shoes matched their purses.
It was many years before I came to appreciate my mother as the
wild, strong individual she is. It has taken longer for me to
appreciate my own uniqueness. Now, in my forties, I am flattered
when old friends say “you’ve done so much”, or “what an
adventurous life you’ve lead”. I like the attention, but I find
the awe in their voices a bit puzzling. I have never sought
recognition. Heck, I rarely had a plan. I gave up planning
fairly early on since nothing ever went the way it was “supposed
to”. Most of my major decisions were made in reaction to
I did NOT want to do.
In hindsight, I have done lots of interesting and unusual
things, but they’d have been a lot more fun if I’d gone into
them with a clearer picture of ME. It has taken me all this
time to understand my own motivations.
I tried to be “normal” and work in an office. Then I tried
quite a few not-so-normal careers. I always changed direction
when I began to feel like someone else was in control of my
life. Not that I was in control, but I couldn’t bear to be told
where to be, what to do, or what to wear. And the fact that I
could not earn as much money as my peers because I was a woman
made me crazy.
Just one of the decisions I question now that I’m older is the
full university scholarship I refused from U.S. Air Force. My
reason? At that time women were not allowed into the flight
program. Oh the things I could have done with that education,
and that discipline! I could have still gone my own way once my
term of service was up, and I’d have had great credentials and
But if not for my restlessness, I would not be the person I am
today. And while I am grateful for all I’ve done, I wonder how
much joy I missed along the way because I approached everything
in an angry, judgmental way. I was furious because to be
“successful” one had to wear impractical, uncomfortable clothes
and follow laws laid down by some corporate “god.” Anger and
dissatisfaction propelled me through my twenties, but because of
it I studied marine biology then music; worked as a sound
engineer; and as a scuba diver. I sailed the world’s oceans,
lived in many countries, and made friends all over the world.
Today I know I am a trailblazer. I’m incapable of following
anyone else’s map. I have to create my own unique map as I go
along. However, there are some very major universal truths I
wish I’d learned earlier. I don’t think I’d have made different
choices but these basic truths would have allowed me to enjoy
the journey more fully. I hope my simple words will help others
enjoy their own paths more.
Six Simple Truths to Help You Know Yourself
- You must love yourself before you can expect others to love
Don’t judge yourself too harshly – Instead make a point of
finding something to like about yourself each day.
- It’s o.k. to have dreams. It’s even o.k. to follow them.
Just be sure to use common sense about money. If you don’t keep
a bit of a cash cushion, you’ll severely limit your choices.
- You always have two options. You can choose to think a
negative thought, or you can choose to think a positive thought.
- Don’t let peer pressure control you. You have every right
to live the way that makes you feel best, and if your friends
don’t like that, find new friends.
- Sometimes you have to rely on faith, and it makes no
difference what religion you follow. You must trust that the
universe will somehow take care of things over which you have no
control. Start by allowing yourself to believe that things will
be o.k. Work up to the belief that your whole life will work out
right. Place your faith in God, Angels, Ancestors or Your Higher
Self. Pick one that makes you feel comfortable and believe.
Things WILL work out all right!
- Listen to your intuition. If you feel uncomfortable about
something – DON’T DO IT! But, if a situation feels very
inviting, GO FOR IT! I have always found that my best moves have
always had a certain flow to them. All the traffic lights are
Kim Davis is the author of The Yachtie Bible: How to Get Paid
While Traveling in Style, available through booklocker.com
www.booklocker.com/books/842.html. She also
weekly online newsletter for jobseeking adventurers,
Extraordinary Jobs for Ordinary People www.extraordinary-