Are you mad at or upset with someone? Has that ever happened to you? What did you do about it? Did you carry a grudge, ignore it or just let it go?

Holding on to bitterness, disillusionment and feelings of betrayal will make your life miserable. Most likely, the person you are angry with has gone on with their own life and the situation that is so upsetting to you has been forgotten by them.

Keep in mind that forgiveness does not mean you condone their actions or have to become best buddies with someone that has wronged you. Choosing to forgive them simply means giving up the power for them to continue to hurt you. This means you forgive someone to preserve your own health and happiness.

What does ‘Forgiveness’ mean?

Many people believe forgiveness is a way for someone who has done wrong to redeem themselves. Some people view it as their duty, or a way to let someone ‘off the hook’. Others find it to be a way to let bygones be bygones and get on with a new day.

The dictionary defines forgiveness as granting pardon for an offense, absolving, to cease to feel resentment against. In a larger view, forgiveness is actually the release of negative energies and emotions. When you make a decision to forgive an offense, you lighten your spirits and brighten your day.

Forgiveness is Freedom.

Each time you hold on to anger, blame, feelings of frustration or the like, you carry a heavy burden. It’s hard work. Maintaining these negative feelings enslaves you to your emotions and keeps you tied to the object of your resentment. Forgiveness is a key that will unlock those oppressive chains and open the door to emotional freedom.

Forgiveness is Health

Larry James, president of, teaches resentment hurts, forgiveness heals. Holding on to feelings of resentment, aggravation and disapproval will always weigh heavy on your heart and will also take a physical toll on your health. When you make a decision to forgive an offense, you break the ties of negativity that bind you to unhappiness and illness.

Forgiveness is Balance

When you choose to forgive an offense, you release stress and tension. You open the door for feelings of peace and joy. Forgiveness is one of the most positive things you can do for yourself. Each time you forgive something or someone, you are letting go of stress, pain and negative energies. And the balance of a happy and healthy life returns to your day.

Forgiveness is Free

There is no charge to forgive someone. And the rewards can be enormous! Forgiveness really is a gift that you give yourself. It’s not something you do for someone to ease their mind. Forgiveness is what gives you peace of mind. It’s the releasing of a hurt and beginning a process of healing. And forgiveness renews your spirit and gives you the prospect of a brighter day.

Forgiveness is a Choice

It begins with a decision to let go of those limiting feelings of anger, hurt, resentment, revenge or sadness at injustice and wrongdoing. This means even when the betrayals or grievances have been huge and overwhelming, it comes down to a decision to let them go. Sometimes this seems to be incredibly difficult or even impossible, but if you persist, it can be done.

Yes, these feelings may return again and again. However, once you have made the decision to forgive, simply remind yourself that you are choosing a healthier way and release those negatives each time they appear. Forgiveness gets easier over time and before long, your ties to anger, hurt, resentment, revenge or disappointment will become a thing of the past.

Recovery from major abuse or trauma takes time. For some particularly serious offenses, it can take years. So, be easy on yourself and give yourself all the time you need. Just keep reminding yourself that you are forgiving this situation for yourself and then focus on the love and positive energies that are around you now.

Forgiveness is a Process.

Identifying the problem is the first step to forgiveness. When you become aware of a situation that is draining your energy, acknowledge it. Recognize that something is out of balance and needs to be corrected. Then, give yourself permission to release the negative energies. Some people like to put it in writing, others just use their imagination.

The important thing is to acknowledge your feelings of resentment or other destructive thoughts and release them. Let them go and forgive the situation or person. Many find it helps to say “I forgive you” out loud. The good news is the other person doesn’t have to hear the words. You can even forgive someone who has passed away. Remember, you forgive for your own benefit.

Joe Vitale talks about an ancient and marvelous Hawaiian process called Ho’o Pono Pono that many have used to work through difficult situations. In its simplest form, you apologize – “I’m sorry.” – and affirm the healing qualities of love – “I love you” – and just keep repeating these powerful affirmations with the intention that the necessary forgiveness will follow. And it will!

Forgiveness is Love

Robert Muller, PhD, co-founder of the United Nations University for Peace in Costa Rica said: “To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” It’s true. Forgiveness gives you peace of mind. It gives you the freedom to let go of pain and embrace a life of love. It closes the door on something that has hurt you and opens another that gives you a future of brighter possibilities.

Forgiveness is a perfect way to brighten your day!

About the Author:

John (“Dealey”) Carpenter Dealey, International ?MasterMind expert, entrepreneur, philanthropist, ?author and self-made millionaire, is dedicated to ?helping people reach goals and achieve their ?dreams. Visit his website at:

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