For years, I took my good health for granted despite Dad's heart condition, brother's bronchitis and mother's asthma and ulcers. I didn't seem to fit in.
Eventually, at age 19, I became seriously ill with mononucleosis, and had to sleep 12-14 hours a night or else I’d suffer from sore throats and swollen glands.
I was also plagued by low energy, depression, fatigue, cystitis, headaches, chronic bladder and yeast infections, constipation and diarrhea. Soon I moved from New York to California, 3,000 miles away from my family, I noticed that my symptoms seemed to wax and wane depending upon my emotions. If I was fighting with my parents, my symptoms flared. When life was calm, I felt better.
My symptoms completely abated in 1975 after taking a transformational seminar. I soon became a seminar leader and regularly slept 3-4 hours a night. Illness seemed a thing of the past. In the 1980’s, traveling around the world, I resolved mild health issues easily with herbal supplements, vitamins, and Ayurvedic remedies.
But in 1996, my body had enough and my life came to a halt. During this dark night of the soul, three family members passed, I lost my job, was rear-ended in a car accident, my marriage ended, and I lost my two cats (fur babies). Just after the car accident, a massage therapist suggested that I might have something called fibromyalgia.
At a chiropractor visit, I mentioned fibro what’s it and he did the American College of Rheumatology’s tender points examination. Sixteen out of the 18 tender points were painful which gave me a diagnosis.
Being able to sleep only in short spurts and feeling as though I’d been run over by a truck every morning led to an overwhelming sense of loss, hopelessness, helplessness and grief. I wanted to numb out, go to sleep and never wake up again.
Physically and emotionally exhausted, I eventually stopped and asked, “Why is this happening" I needed answers from above.
Thus began my healing process. The first intuitive guidance I received was that I had a lot of shame related to the abuse I experienced as a child and adolescent. Subsequently, I did many shame meditations to release the shame and began to pray for healing of the shame every night before I went to sleep.
Then, I read Dr. Thomas Shinder’s article, which confirmed that fibromyalgia and abuse are related. At the University of Alabama, Dr. Shinder conducted studies using PET scan technology demonstrating differences in the Limbic System (or emotional brain) between women with and without fibromyalgia. A higher level of activity is present in those afflicted and changes seen in the PET, endorphin and EEG studies, he says, could easily be associated with the long-term effects of psychological trauma. He also estimates that up to 90% of women with fibromyalgia have a history of sexual, physical or emotional abuse.
I soon discovered that I was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and began to understand why I exhibited the flight, fright or freeze response, seemingly at the drop of a hat.
As a metaphysician, I believed that with divine guidance, I could transmute the pain. Step-by-step, I found answers and understood that disease occurs on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels simultaneously. In order to fully release my pain, I knew that I needed to work on each of those levels. Internally, I continued to ask “What is fibromyalgia?”
After talking to Dr. Lucia Capacchione, author The Power of the Other Hand, I did a dictionary word study of my symptoms such as aching and cramping and the messages astonishingly reflected my emotional state.
I also learned that Dr Francine Shapiro, a psychologist in Palo Alto, California, had invented a method for healing PTSD called Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR). During EMDR sessions, feelings and beliefs, can be desensitized, reprocessed and replaced with alternatives that are more positive and life affirming.
I read Dr. Peter Levine’s book Waking the Tiger, which discusses trauma healing. I took classes from psychotherapist Donna Hamilton, who incorporates an eclectic range of modalities from rebirth and trauma healing to Reichian character structure (armoring). I found numerous doctors and experts who provided answers including Dr Jesse Stoff’s (author of Hidden Epidemic: Chronic Fatigue and Prostate Miracle) hypothesis that all illness is caused by the PITTS (Poor nutrition, Infection, Toxins, Trauma and Stress).
Imbalances, unhealthy thoughts and beliefs, and dietary and lifestyle changes such as eliminating wheat and exercising one hour a day were made.
Later, it was revealed that something was out of kilter with my hypothalamus gland. A study posted on Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum’s website confirmed that people with fibro exhibit hypothalamic dysfunction. The hypothalamus controls many important bodily functions.
Along the way, I was shown that every part of my being was crying out for Love, that my pain reflected my disconnection from my Divine Self. My body, as messenger, conveyed how I was soulfully aching for love.
The wisdom and intervention of a foot reflexologist, aromatherapist, massage therapist, craniosacral therapist, naturopath, two psychotherapists, an intuitive healer, chiropractor and a health coach were instrumental in my becoming free.
My health coach, Rannette Nicholas, suggested that I do EMDR and rebirth work, take magnesium, immune enhancements and other supplements. My health and happiness improved immensely. Within a week of taking an immune supplement, 95% of my symptoms disappeared.
I felt a resurgence of energy and began to write, wanting to share the gifts and wisdom I’d gained. I also experienced new successes which brought increased joy and meaning to my life. Ironically, when I was in the throes of pain, I thought I'd never be able to work again.
Through fibro, I was challenged to surrender to a higher power. I developed a relationship with my Higher Self that has grown, matured, and fulfilled me in ways I could not have imagined.
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is that we truly are spiritual beings. Relief from pain has brought me many wonderful rewards, freedom and liberation from many fears, emotional bondage, and mental constraints.
Just as we cannot exist without air, water, and food, we need Love to THRIVE. This is where the true work begins… the Journey Home to Divine Love. Accepting that we are not Alone. You are not alone. I am not alone. We never were alone and never will be alone. Our Soul knows and hears our anguished cries for help.
The Soul is the missing puzzle piece, no matter what we believe or don’t believe about the divine.
Our Soul Loves us more than we know. Our Soul never abandons us, even when we think otherwise. Our Soul is that Forever Friend we’ve been running away from and longing to Find. Our Soul Hears our pain, and guides us Home. If only we can stop, Hear and Heed its calling.
Our Soul speaks to us through beauty, our talents, love or through crisis and difficulty (most common), however we will listen. Illness and pain are clues signaling our disconnect from our Soul. The solution is to reconnect through art, music, communicating, meditation and basking in the beauty of nature.
Ask yourself these questions, without judgment as a check-in point.. Am I at peace or at war with my soul? Do I know? Am I allowing limiting thoughts and feelings such as fear, resentment, or pity, to keep me paralyzed or am I expressing the full range and repertoire of my feelings in constructive ways? What makes my heart sing? Am I living joyfully? Am I choosing to evolve?
Consciously choosing to awaken and grow into the radiant, magnificent, spiritual beings we came here on Earth to be, is truly our destiny. As we become pain free, and send our new loving consciousness into the world, we help shift the resonance of the world from darkness to light.
Along the way, we become free. There is a spiritual evolution taking place right here, right now, and your Soul is asking you to play the part YOU came here to play. Your Soul is calling you, are you heeding its call?
Celia Sue Hecht is an intuitive healer, author, radio talk show host,
seminar and workshop leader. She has written and published hundreds of
articles, self-published a book of poetry, and five romantic travel
books. She is completing an ebook about her experience with
fibromyalgia, a PR Insider’s guide and a travel guide about chocolate. Through her writing and PR consulting business, Your PR Matchmaker, she offers writing services, workshops, retreats and private coaching sessions. She can be reached at 888-260-4673, via email at
csmagic@yahoo.com
