Achieving excellence in leadership is a matter of knowing how you show up in the playing field, your impact, and how to accelerate both for maximum results.
Have you ever gone somewhere and wondered why you even made the effort? How about feeling like you don’t belong in some groups no matter what you say or do?
What if I told you that there is a way where you not only will never feel like a stranger, but you won’t have to worry about pleasing others again?
On an early snowy January morning in 2009, I was deflated, sitting at a greasy, cold breakfast network meeting. I was surrounded by suits, wondering how to get their respect and sell in a man’s world. The men were courteous but clearly did not accept me into their club.
I was newly remarried, recovering from a divorce after six kids and thirteen years of marriage. I was also recovering from a failed business that had consumed most of my time, energy, and money the year before. As I straightened my jacket, I wondered, What am I doing here? I don’t belong here. I’d been coming to these meetings for six months and had never made a sale. I’m a mother of six, I thought. I should be at home. The suits won’t take me seriously, especially with another baby coming. It doesn’t matter how professional I dress. And I already lost $30,000 last year.
At that meeting, I once again, went through the process of trying to sell myself as a coach. Once again, I failed. I dragged myself home, where my husband put his arms around me and said I should just quit. Dear, I hate seeing you get all stressed out and tied up in knots. You don’t belong in the hard business world. You just aren’t built that way.
Later that day, I received an e-mail from the coaching school I just promised $8000 to get accredited. I needed to have seven paying clients in one month’s time, or I would be kicked out of the program. Great. I’d gone six months without a single sale. I had one client so far. Now, magically, I was supposed to get six more in four weeks?
I sat on my office couch in defeat. I was going to quit. It definitely would be cheaper. I wasn’t cut out to be in business. The kids would just have to wait for braces until they got married and their spouses could pay for them. Assuming they could find someone to marry them with crooked teeth.
I had just got myself believing that I would never have future grandkids because I wasn’t a business woman, when the phone rang. It was my future mentor calling, a woman I’d met the month before. She was an older lady from Arizona who wore ethereal clothes and had a quiet confidence about her although she was incredibly shy.
She said she’d felt impressed to call me. After hearing my plight, she had three life-changing questions for me.
Question #1: Are you a man or a woman?
Answer: Woman.
Question #2: Do you like the aggressive way the men sell?
No.
Question #3: Then why try to be one of them?
Ahh. She got me.
Over the next week, it didn’t take long for me to figure out my strengths. I was a mother at heart. I can see greatness in others. I can call them to that greatness, whether it requires a nurturing touch or a butt-kicking. I naturally discover what causes people pain and then help them tap in to their brilliance to solve their own problems.
Once I plugged in to my unique but natural way of being-focusing on helping the suits be their best-and stayed that way throughout the sales process-I hit bingo. Now not only do I fill my practice quickly and easily, but I get to decide which clients to take on.
In a sense, my husband was right-I didn’t belong in the boys’ club. I needed to start my own club. Now I belong to Lisa’s club. I am the owner, and I decide who belongs. Guess how much I charge my husband to come visit?
So ask yourself: What club are you still trying to get into to? Stop.
Own your own club.
About the Author:
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