Building or cultivating confidence is an ongoing process. People are not born with confidence, nor is it just given to some people and not others.
The most solid confidence is based on performance and skills. When your personal evaluation of your performance is that it is “good enough”, you have confidence. “Good enough” however varies from situation to situation. I may be a good enough skier to have fun and ski safely, but not be good enough to win a race competition.
This exercise is designed to constantly improve performance, so it works particularly well for a work setting in which you want to gain confidence. It also works well in sports and relationships.
1. Identify the tasks you did well today.
2. Give yourself the pat on the back that you do deserve.
3. Accept the pat on the back and enjoy it.
4. Identify the tasks that still need improvement.
5. Take some specific action related to the task to improve before the next day.
Examples are often the best teachers, so here are a few illustrations.
Nursing: I was very kind to Mr. Jones when I changed his IV today. That was really good and I feel good about myself because I was kind.
Improvement: I needed to know more about his medication’s side effects, so I’ll review the action and side effects of the medication tonight after dinner.
Sales- I did a great job of contacting 6 prospects today. That’s really good and I feel good about that.
Improvement: I need to improve my sales pitch, however, so I’ll draft a better script tonight.
Golf: That drive on the 7th hole was fantastic today. That was really good and I feel great about it.
Improvement: I need to do better with my putting, so I’ll practice in the game room this afternoon.
Marriage: I was loving today when I gave my husband extra hugs and kisses when he left for work this morning. That’s really great. I feel good about being a good wife.
Improvement: I have been irritable in the mornings, so I’ll read something inspirational before I go to bed tonight, so I’m in a better mood in the morning.
Parenting: I was proud of the way I handled that problem with Susie. i did a good job and I feel good about myself as a parent.
Improvement:I have missed a lot of Susie’s soccer games, so I’m going to get all the games entered in my calendar and make a point to go.
Do this exercise at the end of the day or driving home from work. Take a few minutes to work on improving yourself so that you feel good about yourself as you build your confidence.
Visit http://BeConfidentToday.com/ to cultivate confidence with guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, articles, and consultations with Lynn Kennedy Baxter, BSN, MA., High Performance Coach and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Take the first step now, because confidence is your choice and you can have it.
© 2011 Lynn Kennedy Baxter, BSN, MA
