≡ Menu

Conflicts Can Be Romantic?

Romantic conflicts are as common as . . .

Chores, Money, Sex, In laws, Holidays, Feeling Ignored, Vacations, Disciplining the Children, Enough Time Together, Lack of Listening, Dirty Fighting, The “Right Way” to Do Things, “You Just Don’t Get It,” and on and on . . .

And you’ve got your own unique trouble spots that make conflicts even more conusing.

That’s why we offer 5 keys to a romantic outcome, when you know how to resolve your conflicts in a way that benefits each of you, and your relationship.

1) You Are Both Right: each of you brings some piece of the truth about the conflict and You Are Both Wrong: each of you brings some distortion. If there were no distortion there would be no conflict.

Furthermore, you are dead wrong if you believe that your lover’s point of view is “ridiculous” or “stupid” or any other dismissive comment. That denies your partner’s right to be unique in their own right.

Remember, the other person is not you. And your conflict is simply a natural outcome of your differences clashing.

2) There’s Magic in Your Differences

Because each of you is unique, you won’t always see things the same way. That’s guaranteed! But there is powerful and very romantic magic in your differing points of view.


When you find yourselves in conflict, that’s the chance to come together to find a resolution that enhances the well being of your relationship. That will always produce a richer, deeper, and more intimate understanding of yourselves, each other, and your life together. That’s the magical value of conflict.

3) Don’t Try To Win!

Why would you want to triumph over the person you love? No one likes to lose and the winner never really wins because the other person just gets you back in the end anyway. Where’s the prize in that?

A conflict is like an SOS, a signal that something’s not working and must be attended to. This view of conflict offers the chance for you both to get your feelings and needs on the table so you can examine what needs to be changed for the benefit of your being together.

4) Give Up Me Me Me And That Goes For Both Of You!

We all have the impulse to think that our way is the right way. The only right way. But a relationship offers the magical and spiritual opportunity to grow beyond that adolescent point of view to learn to include your partner.

There’s a paradox in that because the more you can listen to and understand your partner, the more you will be heard and understood. When you stop focusing exclusively on you, more of what you want will be available.

5) You Get to Be Loved for Who You Really Are

When you resolve conflicts, keeping the well being of your relationship as your primary goal, you continually rejoice in being together as individuals. Each of you remains unique in your own way, committed to being present, and, at the same time, you increasingly learn to include your partner’s ways of feeling, thinking, and behaving.

You keep discovering that you feel closer and closer for having worked through whatever conflict you just ran into. And increasingly you can trust that you are loved for being who you really are.

Now that’s romantic.


To receive Judith & Jim’s no-cost, one-hour audio download “The Promise of Conflict” just go to: www.judithandjim.com/conflict

{ 17 comments… add one }

  • gamefly free trial May 30, 2019, 3:57 am

    I love what you guys are up too. This kind of clever work and reporting!
    Keep up the terrific works guys I’ve added you guys to our blogroll.

  • gamefly free trial June 3, 2019, 12:56 am

    Yes! Finally someone writes about gamefly free trial.

  • gamefly free trial June 3, 2019, 3:32 pm

    Howdy! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a group
    of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the same niche.
    Your blog provided us beneficial information to work
    on. You have done a wonderful job!

  • gamefly free trial June 4, 2019, 11:04 pm

    Hello There. I found your weblog the usage of msn. This is a very well written article.
    I’ll make sure to bookmark it and return to learn more of your helpful info.

    Thank you for the post. I’ll definitely return.

  • gamefly free trial June 5, 2019, 5:59 pm

    Wonderful site you have here but I was curious about
    if you knew of any user discussion forums that cover the same
    topics discussed here? I’d really love to
    be a part of group where I can get feed-back from other
    experienced people that share the same interest. If you
    have any recommendations, please let me know. Thanks!

  • ps4 best games ever made 2019 June 12, 2019, 9:51 am

    Peculiar article, exactly what I wanted to find.

  • quest bars cheap June 14, 2019, 10:43 am

    Hmm it looks like your website ate my first comment (it
    was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I
    submitted and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your
    blog. I as well am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to the whole thing.
    Do you have any recommendations for rookie blog writers?
    I’d genuinely appreciate it.

  • http://tinyurl.com/y3jdlv8q July 1, 2019, 10:19 am

    I really love your website.. Excellent colors & theme. Did you develop this website yourself?
    Please reply back as I’m wanting to create my own blog and would like to learn where
    you got this from or just what the theme is called. Thanks!

  • how to get help in windows 10 July 22, 2019, 5:47 am

    Howdy would you mind letting me know which web
    host you’re working with? I’ve loaded your blog in 3
    completely different browsers and I must say this
    blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you suggest
    a good internet hosting provider at a honest price? Thanks a lot, I appreciate it!

  • natalielise July 23, 2019, 2:48 am

    Hello to every one, it’s really a good for me to go to
    see this web page, it contains precious Information. natalielise

  • plenty of fish dating site July 25, 2019, 11:54 am

    For most up-to-date information you have to visit world-wide-web and on the web I found this site as a
    most excellent site for newest updates.

  • smore.com July 26, 2019, 11:33 am

    Peculiar article, just what I wanted to find.

    natalielise pof

  • pof July 31, 2019, 5:43 am

    My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find almost all of your post’s to be
    just what I’m looking for. can you offer guest writers to write content available for you?
    I wouldn’t mind producing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write
    regarding here. Again, awesome web site!

  • plenty of fish July 31, 2019, 2:44 pm

    After I initially commented I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I receive four emails with the exact same comment.
    There has to be an easy method you are able to remove me from that service?
    Thanks a lot!

  • pof July 31, 2019, 6:56 pm

    I love what you guys are up too. Such clever work and
    coverage! Keep up the very good works guys I’ve included you guys to my own blogroll.

  • plenty of fish dating site August 14, 2019, 11:30 am

    If you want to obtain a great deal from this paragraph then you have to apply these methods to your won blog.

  • descargar facebook August 18, 2019, 7:28 pm

    Hi i am kavin, its my first occasion to commenting anywhere, when i
    read this article i thought i could also make comment
    due to this sensible piece of writing.

Leave a Comment