(SOCYD) -
The Science of Creating Your Dreams
Exploration #4
What arx your Brokxn Kxys?
This is the lesson where that little voice who likes to tell us
what’s not perfect in our lives gets to have his say.
There are limits though. The voice’s contributions have to be
constructive or else the duct tape is coming right back out !
Can you guess what we’re going to be exploring today?
Yep you got it…
We’re talking about What’s Missing.
We’re going to explore everything we can think of that you want
to be or do, that you’re not being or you don’t have right now,
to make your Dream a reality.
Now there is another ground rule for this exercise.
This exercise is not a chore, its not a “to do” list, and its
not something to make you feel inadequate or guilty.
If you start feeling any of that, put this down, walk away, and
take a break.
When you come back, sit down with your vision sheet and put
yourself right in the middle of your Dream, then start over.
This Exploration is one of the most exciting parts of the whole
process!
You get to delve into all the wonderful things you will be
bringing into your life to make your Dream a reality and you’ll
also get to decide the things you want to leave behind.
What’s Missing is really your opportunity to grow, so embrace it
and enjoy!
Remember the words of Earl Nightingale when he said, “You are,
at this moment, standing, right in the middle of your own ‘acres
of diamonds’."
How you think about a problem is more important than the problem
itself - so always think positively.
--Norman Vincent Peale
Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.
--Les Brown
One of the greatest joys known to man is to take a flight into
ignorance in search of knowledge.
--Robert Lynd
Believe it is possible to solve your problem. Tremendous things
happen to the believer. So believe the answer will come. It will.
--Norman Vincent Peale
The world is round and the place, which may seem like the end
may also be only the beginning.
--Ivy Baker
Before you begin climbing that ladder of success, make sure it's
leaning towards the window of opportunity you desire!
--Tracy Brinkmann
Luck favors the mind that is prepared.
--Louis Pasteur
A problem well stated is a problem half solved.
--John Dewey
When a problem comes along, study it until you are completely
knowledgeable. Then find that weak spot, break the problem
apart, and the rest will be easy.
--Norman Vincent Peale
The concept of What’s Missing can be a tricky one to explain
clearly so I’m going to use two stories to help me get the
point across.
Can you see what’s missing from the welfare recipients’ lives
in this first story?
Everybody Has a Dream
by: Virginia Satir
Some years ago I took on an assignment in a southern county to
work with people on public welfare. What I wanted to do was
show that everybody has the capacity to be self-sufficient, and
all we have to do is to activate them. I asked the county to
pick a group of people who were on public welfare, people from
different racial groups and different family constellations. I
would then see them as a group for three hours every Friday. I
also asked for a little petty cash to work with as I needed it.
The first thing I said after I shook hands with everybody was,
"I would like to know what your dreams are." Everyone looked at
me as if I were kind of wacky.
"Dreams? We don't have dreams."
I said, "Well, when you were a kid what happened? Wasn't there
something you wanted to do?"
One woman said to me, "I don't know what you can do with dreams.
The rats are eating up my kids."
"Oh," I said. "That's terrible. No, of course, you are very much
involved with the rats and your kids. How can that be helped?"
"Well, I could use a new screen door because there are holes in
my screen door."
I asked, "Is there anybody around here who knows how to fix a
screen door?"
There was a man in the group, and he said, "A long time ago I
used to do things like that, but now I have a terribly bad
back, but I'll try."
I told him I had some money if he would go to the store, buy
some screening, and go and fix the lady's screen door.
"Do you think you can do that?"
"Yes, I'll try."
The next week, when the group was seated, I said to the woman,
"Well is your screen door fixed?"
"Oh, yes," she said. "Then we can start dreaming, can't we?" She
sort of smiled at me.
I said to the man who did the work, "How do you feel?"
He said, "Well, you know, it's a very funny thing. I'm beginning
to feel a lot better."
That helped the group to begin to dream. These seemingly small
successes allowed the group to see that dreams were not insane.
These small steps began to get people to see and feel that
something really could happen.
I began to ask other people about their dreams. One woman shared
that she always wanted to be a secretary. I said, "Well, what
stands in your way?" (That's always my next question).
She said, "I have six kids, and I don't have anyone to take
care of them while I'm away."
"Let's find out," I said. "Is there anybody in this group who
would take care of six kids for a day or two a week while this
woman gets some training here at the community college?"
One woman said, "I got kids, too, but I could do that."
"Let's do it," I said. A plan was created and the woman went to
school.
Everyone found something. The man who put in the screen door
became a handyman. The woman who took in the children became a
licensed foster care person. In 12 weeks I had all these people
off public welfare. I've not only done that once, I've done it
many times.
So what was Missing from the lives of the people in Virginia’s
story?
It was the big picture.
May times the biggest obstacle for people making progress in
their lives and living in their Dreams is that they forget that
there’s something missing – that there’s something bigger than
their current situation. They get mired down in the minutia of
their daily lives and never see the forest for the trees.
If you’re having a hard time figuring out What’s Missing
why not start with taking a step back and looking at the big
picture of your life.
You just might see something that looks like this…
A Brokxn Kxy,
Evxn though my typxwritxr is an old modxl, it works quitx wxll
xxcxpt for onx of the kxys.
I havx many timxs wishxd that it workxd pxrfxctly.
It is trux that thxrx arx forty-onx kxys that function wxll
xnough, but just onx kxy not working makxs thx diffxrxncx.
Somxtimxs it sxxms to mx that my lifx is somxthing likx my
typxwritxr -- not all thx kxy parts arx working propxrly.
You may say to yoursxlf, "Wxll, its only onx littlx key, it
doxsn't makx or brxak thx typxwritxr."
But it doxs makx a big diffxrxncx, bxcasx a typxwritxr, to bx
xffxctivx, nxxds xvxry kxy for thx mxssagx it typxs to makx
sxnsx.
So, thx nxxt timx you find somxthing lacking in your lifx as
you work to Crxatx your Drxam, rxmxmbxr my typxwritxr and say
to yoursxlf, "This is a kxy componxnt of my lifx and my Drxam.
I rxally want it to work!"
This is what happxns whxn only onx kxy isn’t working. What
happxns whxn thxrx arx multiplx arxas of your lifx that arxn’t
working to Crxatx your Drxam?
Thx wholx thing just won’t makx a bit of sxnsx!
So, let’s identify the missing and broken keys, and get them
fixed so we can write the story of your Dream!
Are you ready?
Get your pen and paper out and lets make a list of What’s
Missing.
What do you feel keeps knocking you away from your vision?
What do you feel is standing in your way?
What do you want in your life to Create your Dream that you
don’t have now?
What kind of traits and habits does the person who
is in your Dream have that you don't have right now?
What resources would help make your Dream a reality?
Is there anything currently in your life that could prevent, or
make more difficult, your Dream becoming a reality? (This may not
seem like What’s Missing but in fact it is. In this case What’s
Missing would be the space that is being taken up by poor habits,
unsupportive relationships, clutter, or any number of things.)
Look at your vision and list What’s Missing from your life now
that you want to bring into it in order to Create your Dream?
Remember, if you start feeling overwhelmed, guilty, or have any
negativity during this exercise, get up and take a break.
Come back when you’re refreshed and start over.
It’s very important that you create this list of What’s Missing
from the realm of “possibility” thinking and not negativity
thinking.
With possibility thinking you can attract everything you want to
you. With negativity thinking you will repel it.
Think possibility – positive – attracts.
Think negativity – negative – repels.
Take your time with this exercise and list everything you can
think of that is an opportunity for you to grow into the person
who lives in your vision.
Next time we’re going to start moving forward in the Creating
of your Dream.
Up to this point we’ve been clarifying and strengthening, as
well as figuring out what we have and don’t have to work with
right now.
In the next exploration we’re going to start putting the pieces
together and moving toward the culmination of the Science of
Creating your Dreams series that we’ll play with in Exploration #7
identifying your C Factor.
After today the prep work is done. Make sure you have a good list of
What’s Missing, and until next time, C your Dream and
have a FANTASTIC day!
Liz Thompson
Co-Founder
Mentors Press
HealthyWealthynWise
lthompson@mentorspress.com
lthompson@healthywealthynwise.com
304-725-2502 ph.
304-728-3068 fx.
www.HealthyWealthynWise.com
www.CmyDream.com
© Mentors Press 2003
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