Beliefs are not always based on logic
What if I told you your life was like a movie? And the person standing next to you right now is viewing a very different movie. The way you experience anything and everything comes from your perception.
Your experiences, the meaning you gave them and the beliefs you shaped around those experiences create the lens in your life. Your lens is your unique way of perceiving the world. Your way of being.
The power of your story
History is a story. We all have one. Your point of view is the foundation of your history. No two histories are the same. Each is as unique as a fingerprint.
One of my clients, Toni, is preparing to grow her business. We were talking about her childhood, being heavy and awkward. The neighborhood kids would get together and play kickball in the field, including her sister.
Toni admits she was usually one of the last kids picked for the teams. Nobody wanted her on their team because her size slowed her down. They always teased her, chanting a made-up sing-song rhyme. Instead of defending her, her sister would join in the song.
Being one of the younger kids in the gang, Toni endured this for a long, long time. When you hear something repeatedly, you begin to believe it. Today, Toni admits she does not like being the center of attention. She would rather hide. Years of teasing eroded her confidence.
The beliefs you have feel true. Beliefs, however, are not always based upon logic. They are creations of your experience, how you interpreted an event and the story you told around it in order to make sense for you.
Many of our beliefs were formulated at a young age, prior to age 7. This is an important fact. Before age 7 you are unable to distinguish between reality and fiction. Remember when you believed in the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus? Many of your beliefs were created in those years. Then they get tucked away.
Change your history to match your goals
Most people do not periodically explore their beliefs to see if they ought to be updated. When something occurs triggering one of these beliefs it gets activated. Then you begin responding based upon a belief you created as a child. No wonder people have tantrums when things don’t work out as planned.
Allow me to digress for a moment. Humans are extremely adaptable being one of the reasons we survived as a species. We are flexible, evolving beings. Our innate powerful trait to adapt can be used to change something about our future or our past.
Detective work to distinguish between your belief and reality
It is possible to change your history. Of course, the actual events which occurred cannot be undone. The meaning you subscribed to those events, your interpretation of them, can be changed. You know things now which you didn’t know when you were younger. By changing the meaning around an event, you are changing your memory, your belief, your thoughts and your responses. This is powerful, impacting your business, relationships and your life.
While working with Toni, in one session, we changed her story around her childhood experience of the kickball games. We shifted her focus from the negative, being teased for her weight, to the positive. Tapping into her brain we positively altered the memory, creating a new mind movie.
Toni realized her personal commitment to become a leader. Toni reframed her after school days playing kickball realizing they were a major contributor to her vow to excel. Like all successful business owners, she continues to establish new goals, pushing herself, where most have given up a long time ago.
Changing Toni’s story significantly impacted her confidence when she begins to feel uncomfortable as she is working toward a new business goal. In addition to changing her perception from negative to positive, we created a new mind movie. She can now tap into a powerful visualization, being the leader in her field. Toni now knows how to remain focused on her current goals, shutting out all negative, distracting thoughts. Her focus lasers in on her goals, dismissing things which would previously cause her to question her abilities. After one session her confidence improved significantly. It was easy.
Activity: Consider your goals now. Develop two lists. One for all the reasons you ought to be taking action now and another for all the reasons you feel resistance. Are there more benefits to taking action now than avoiding action? For the reasons you are resisting, see if you can figure out why you feel resistance. Where did that come from? What is the belief behind it? Now see if you can create a new belief which is more appropriate for your life today. As you clear the resisting beliefs, taking action will become easier.
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